49 days to go!

49 days to go! Everyday I feel a variety of emotions about the birth of Ethan. For the most part, I'm really excited and it feels like it'll never come. Because we are so close I also feel a lot of anxiety over getting everything ready and I think I'm in shock that he'll actually be here in 7 weeks. Despite all the excitement, I also worry that something will happen to him between now and then. I know my fears are out there and the chances are very very slim that he will wrap himself up in his umbilical cord or that his heart will just stop. I think part of these fears comes from losing a baby before. The dream of finally becoming a mom is so close and I can't wait to see Ethan's little face. It makes my eyes well up with tears just to imagine those first few moments with my son.
He still seems to be growing normally. At my 32 week appointment, I measured a week behind, which was irritating since I measured a week ahead just 3 weeks before. It's all still within what's normal, but, of course, I freaked out and worried that he'd stopped growing. I have a feeling this worrying will never stop even when he is here. There will be another set of worries. He was head down as of my last appointment and I think he's stayed that way. My doctor said that the chances of him turning around again are slim since it's getting packed in there. He should be about 4 1/2 lbs by now and 16 or 17 inches long. Supposedly, he will gain 1/2 lb a week from now until delivery.

Almost 33 weeks (Christmas Day!)

My belly is huge! I didn't think my belly button could come out anymore, but it has. I have had a vertical line above and below my belly button for about a month. It's really cool to see the things that they talk about in books happening to me.


In the next couple weeks I'll post pictures of his room. It's still a work in progress. His clothes are washed and put away. His crib & dresser are up and ready to go. We still have a few things to do, but I'll post pictures when we're finished.

10 more weeks!

10 more weeks until baby Ethan will finally be here! Sometimes it feels like it's coming really fast and other times it's really slow.

We went to an all day childbirth class yesterday and learned some really good relaxing techniques. I really like the birthing ball, which is basically just an exercise ball. I'm hoping to use it at home when labor begins and hopefully take it to the hospital with me. After taking the class I am more excited about the process and although I don't think anyone really looks forward to labor, I'm excited to meet my son. I'm so curious to see who he looks like and I really want to hold him.

I have 6 more weeks of work before I go on maternity leave. I'm happy that I will have some time off before the baby comes. It's also a little bittersweet because I'll be leaving 5 little kids behind. I have been watching the Weaver's 3 kids for almost 3 years and I've been with the Jones' for almost a year. I'm really going to miss my kids! This is the beginning of a new chapter of my life where I will no longer will I be taking care of other people's kids. I'm looking forward to having a normal, steady work schedule at an office in May or June and being home with Ethan 2 days a week. The plan is for me to stay off work until the end of May/ early June and after that Ken's mom is going to take the baby 3 days a week so I can go back to work.

At my last doctor's appointment I had officially gained 24 lbs. At a pound a week it looks like I will most likely be at around 35 lbs when he's born. I took the glucose test on Tuesday and I don't have gestational diabetes, but I am anemic so now I'm taking iron supplements. Oh, and I'm measuring a week ahead, but that could just be because he's bigger than normal.

Lately, Ethan has been moving more and more. I can feel every twist and turn. He likes to move the most between 7pm and 11pm and every time I move from side to side at night he kicks around to get situated for a few minutes. I'm mesmerized by the fact that he is going to be 3 1/2 lbs by the end of the week and 18 inches long and he somehow fits inside my belly. We are both doing great! I feel more tired now than I did last trimester. I can get up at 8am and by 10am I'm ready for a nap. 6 more weeks until I can actually take that nap. I can't wait!

If you give Erin a box of decorations...

...she'll probably want a tree to decorate.

The day after Thanksgiving I felt like I really wanted to get all the Christmas stuff out of the garage. We only have 1 box of Christmas stuff and it's mostly ornaments that my mom has saved for me since I was a baby, ornaments we have received as gifts and hand-me-down decorations. Once we got it all out, I really wanted a tree. Ken and I have never had a Christmas tree which I know for some people is insane. We've always been so tight with our budget that we never wanted to spend money on a tree, especially since we don't have kids to enjoy it. We've always wanted to buy a fake tree too and they are expensive. So, for the last few Christmas' we either haven't put anything up or had a 2 ft fake tree (found in the hand-me-down box) which doesn't hold any more than a few ornaments. One year Ken strung lights around our apartment, but that's about it.

Anyways, once we got the decorations out I started thinking that maybe we should just buy a real tree this year just so we had something to put up. It all started with me saying, "Why don't we just go take a look?" and ended in us buying our first fake Christmas tree. We found an 8 ft tree at California Backyards for $300 so with the cost of a real tree it will pay for itself in about 6 years.

Here are the pictures of us setting it up and finally getting all the ornaments out of their boxes. It turned out really nice and we had a nice night listening to Christmas music and hanging out together.

The first set of branches

Pulling down the branches

Me getting all the branches spread out.

I'm going to pop!!!! (27 weeks)

26 weeks

I'm 27 weeks now. Not much has changed, other than the belly is growing rapidly. The back pains are getting worse and I'm started to feel huge. 13 more weeks to go and I know I'll get much bigger. In the last few weeks it's been fun to go out in public because it's very obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat. I'm beginning to get really excited that in 3 months Ethan will be here, but I'm also a little anxious. I've always felt very prepared to have my own kids, but the whole childbirth, the first few months with a newborn and the 24/7 of being a mom scares me. I think it's the unknown and the waiting that gets to me. It already seems to be coming very quickly. I'm now in the 3rd trimester. Our childbirth class and tour of the hospital are just around the corner and between Thanksgiving & Christmas I have a feeling time will fly by and before we know it it'll be January and I'll be on maternity leave.

We are starting to work on his room. This week, Ken painted Ethan's room a creamy green that will go really well with the bedding. The furniture comes from the Goores Outlet in 1 week and then I have to start organizing all the bedding, blankets, and clothes we already have. The majority of the clothes we have are girls clothes so they're going into the garage for hopefully the next baby. Ken and his dad are going to finish installing the fan in the baby's room by the end of the week and then we can start moving in the glider, the furniture and everything else in from the garage. I can already start to feel myself nesting. I'm looking forward to the day I can walk out of my bedroom and see into his finished bedroom.

As you can probably tell my brain is all over the place. I feel out of control because I can't do a lot to help get the room ready because most of it requires heavy lifting or painting. It'll be nice when it's organizing time!

By the way, I feel so big that I'm sure if something sharp bumped my belly I'd probably pop! UGH! I'm so done being pregnant!!! Don't get me wrong, I love the kicks, when they don't involve my ribs, but the aches and pains have got to go and I know they won't until it's over! To top it all off I have horrible heartburn all the time and Tums just doesn't do the job. It doesn't matter what I eat, heartburn is always there. Okay, enough complaining. On the bright side, only 91 days, according to Babycenter.com until I get to see my son's face! All worth it!

Lizzie's Wedding & 24 weeks

Rachel, Lizzie & Me

Ken & Me

Mr. & Mrs. Brandon & Elizabeth Tosspon.

I blinded Brandon with the flash that why he

looks like a deer in the headlights.

Rachel's husband, Scott doing Michael Jackson's

moves on the dance floor. Hilarious!

Last weekend Ken and I headed down to Riverside/ San Diego for Elizabeth and Brandon's wedding. Elizabeth and I have been friends since 9th grade P.E. class and even after going away to different states for school still have remained good friends. We flew in on Friday night and spent the whole weekend with my friend Rachel, also a friend from high school, and her husband, Scott in Riverside.

On Saturday, we headed to Elizabeth's wedding but first had to stop off at the Original Pancake House for breakfast. If I lived down there, I would probably gain 50 lbs fast. It's great food!

I always thought Elizabeth's dress would be a 1920's dress with lace and I was right! She was gorgeous! I was really bummed that I was still congested and coughing some at her wedding because I didn't get to sing. I felt even sillier when I saw my name in the program. How embarrassing! The wedding was great! We had an hour between the wedding and reception so Rachel, Scott, Ken and I headed for the closest Chili's in San Diego using the GPS on Rachel's phone. That was an experience in itself. We finally found the Chili's, which was right across the street from our hotel, in about 20 minutes, had some chips & salsa and headed to the marina for the reception. Elizabeth had a Mexican food, which I was really looking forward to, and she even sported a Mexican apron to protect her dress. We had a blast at the wedding!

I'm actually 25 weeks now, but the picture below is 24 weeks. I'm getting bigger and bigger everyday. It's getting harder to bend over to pick things up and I'm getting more uncomfortable. I've gained almost 19 lbs so far, which the book says is normal, but geez, it seems like a bit much to me. Ethan is moving around a lot more than before. I watched him move from one side of my belly to the other last week. It took an hour, but he tapped his way. It's very cool to see your belly move on its own and to feel him move when I'm not just sitting down. In fact, last week he kicked me in the bladder at Target and almost made me pee my pants.

What could have been...

Sunday, October 25th would have been the due date for the baby we lost back in March. I thought that I would be sad or wish that that baby was here. Although, I do wish that pregnancy was over and that I had a baby in my arms, I have a hard time wishing for a baby that would have made it impossible for baby Ethan to be here at the same time. I feel connected to my son especially since he started kicking and moving around so much 7 weeks ago. I know that if our first pregnancy had no complications I would have loved that baby just as much at this point. I still really have the feeling that that baby was a girl, which does make it a little bittersweet. However, I just can't imagine not preparing to bring our son into the world in 3 months.
It's crazy how your heart can heal and help you move on as life throws you something else. I know God has a plan in this and that Ethan must have an important purpose in this world. I've been trying to focus on the life that God is giving us and not so much on what could have been. Maybe that is naive, but I can't live in the "what-if" world.

Oink, Oink...

It's amazing how scared I was of H1N1 before I got it myself. Last Thursday, I started feeling like I was coming down with a cold. I had a sore throat and started feeling congested. By Friday afternoon, the congestion was really bad and I had a cough. Before I left work the youngest one had a fever and was lethargic. I figured I must have caught something from work. That's typically what happens. Later that night I had a fever, but we don't own a thermometer so I don't know how high it was. I used cold wash clothes to keep it down.

Throughout the weekend, my cough got much worse and the congestion was out of control. My body ached which I attributed was just part of being pregnant. But, by Monday, I was really miserable. I still got up and went to work. I walked into work and my boss asked me if I wanted to go home because it was obvious that I didn't look so good. Two of her three kids were home sick that day as well. I stayed for an hour and a half so she could get some medicine and drop off her oldest at school.

On Monday night, I was getting cabin fever so I went out to Babies R Us with my sister to finish my registry. Ten minutes into our trip I started feeling dizzy. Here I was in Babies r Us squatting on the floor not really caring which sippy cup or bath towel to choose. My sister drove me home to my parents and we took my temp. It was 100.5. We decided it would be best to call Kaiser's advice line to see what I should do. I know any kind of fever is worrisome during pregnancy and I needed to watch it. After hearing my symptoms and telling her that I couldn't take Acedimenaphen because of an allergic reaction, she told me to come into Labor & Delivery.

It freaked me out that we were going to the hospital and of course, I worried about the baby. Ethan kept kicking all the way to the hospital so I felt positive that he was okay. They put me on a fetal monitor and Ethan's heartbeat was at its normal 140 BPM. I was given a gorgeous mask. They told me that they wanted to treat me for the flu. They stuck a nasal swab way too far up my nose to test for H1N1. Ken & I both thought this was overkill. "It's just a cold and a fever!". I started taking Tamiflu Tuesday morning and by Wednesday morning got a call from the hospital saying that I did indeed have H1N1. Luckily, they called that morning because I had planned to go back to work later that day.

Things I have learned about H1N1:

* It can be deadly, but it's very rare. Most cases are mild and very treatable.

* The symptoms are sore throat, cough, congestion, body aches, headaches, and fever.

* You are only contagious the day before you display symptoms and while you have a fever.

* 30% of pregnant women who get H1N1 are hospitalized and 90% of people with a cough or fever have H1N1.

I'm doing fine now. I have 3 more doses of the Tamiflu and I'm off work until Monday morning on quarantine. I'm very bored. There's only so much tv you can watch and sleep you can get. Ethan is doing great. He has kicked through the whole thing. He's probably better off inside me that out here with all the H1N1. Please continue to pray that we completely recover. I'm very thankful that God was watching over us. It could have been much worse.

Here's my belly button at 22 weeks and some change, which has already popped. Crazy! I had a very deep belly button before pregnancy so I'm surprised it's popped out so much. My sister told me to take a picture of it before my belly got bigger but I didn't listen. She says it never will look the same.

It's a...Boy!!!

Ken with the biggest grin on his face after finding out (above)
My 20 week belly (below)

We found out that our baby is a boy on Friday!!! I was a little shocked to hear that I'm having a boy. I was convinced that it was a girl. It's taken a couple days but I'm really loving the idea of having a little boy running around especially because I can't wait to see Ken with his son. Ken was such a proud papa after finding out the baby was a boy. In the ultrasound, we saw his ribs, spine, heart, abdomin, and brain. The technician showed us how he had his feet crossed at the ankles. At one point, he started scooting his feet up along my uterus to move back upside down. It was the funniest thing to watch especially because he didn't move his arms to help him up. It was like watching a kid try to climb up a door frame. He's a monkey.

It was really fun to watch Ethan, that's his name, bouncing all over the screen. As soon as the technician started the ultrasound his arms and legs started kicking all over the place. I've noticed that he is a very active baby. He kicks me all day I have grown to love and look forward to each kick. In fact, I think I'm addicted to the kicks. There is nothing in the world as great as feeling your own baby kick you from inside you. I love that he and I are connected in a way that no one else ever will be to him. I've been trying really hard to just enjoy the time that he is still inside of me. I know this time will pass quickly and soon enough I'll be chasing after him. I don't want to look back and wish I'd enjoyed every moment of pregnancy.

I've really enjoyed giving the baby a little personality. When I get kicks, I tend to put words in his mouth. Like when he poked my bladder during church a couple Sunday ago as if to say, "Hey, Mom, can you move this thing it's in the way?" or when I waited to long to eat lunch and as soon as I took my first bite he kicked me as if to say, "It's about time!" He's tends to kick me whenever I move to my other side during the night but go right back to sleep and if I'm trying to sleep in he'll usually leave me be until about 8 or 830AM when he starts kicking. I figure he's telling me, "Hey, Mom can we have some breakfast?"

Here are the ultrasound pictures:

If you turn your head to the left you can see his eye sockets, mouth, chin and nose, which looks a bit squished. You can also see his heart in his chest.

Ken added a little something to the same photo below. You may have to click on it to see what it is. It did look like Ethan was trying to catch something. Ken's little superstar. We're going to frame this picture and put it up in his room.

I'm now 21 weeks and feeling pretty good. My back aches and it's getting harder to get up and down, but I think I have it pretty good. I do have more energy than I did in the 1st trimester, but I'm still very tired toward the end of the day. All the up and down I do working with kids all day makes me even more tired and achy, but I hope I can work until January.

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Sweetie!!!

On September 22nd, Ken and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. This year we decided to stay home to celebrate. The last two years we've been out of town in Tahoe or Santa Cruz on our anniversary. We had such a great night together. We made dinner together; steak, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and dutch crunch bread. It was great to have a night where we actually had a chance to talk while making dinner and just relax together.
After dinner, I decided to make Ken some chocolate chip cookies and as I was getting ready to put the first batch in Ken asked me if I wanted to take a bath. I have been so achy lately that a bath in our brand new bathtub sounded perfect. He went upstairs, filled the bathtub in the baby's room, added my favorite Sweet Pea scent from Bath & Body Works, put a Parenting magazine on the counter, brought my towel in from our bathroom and even left a small towel to put behind my head.
After my bath, he helped me get out of the tub, which was kind of a huge feat considering how big my belly is getting and how deep the tub is. We decided to watch the Wizard from the 1980's with Fred Savage.
I have such an amazing husband! Everyday I'm reminded of just how lucky I am to have found such a caring, sensitive, and supportive husband. One of the most amazing things about him is that he hears things that I myself at the time don't even think are that relevant.
For our anniversary he gave me a sign for the wall that says "All Because Two People Fell In Love". I have been talking about wanting this sign for our entire marriage. I've always wanted to make a wall in our house just for family pictures. He also gave me a picture frame that says LOVE down the side and said he wanted to put it up in the baby's room. I'm really not surprised that he remembered that I wanted this sign from so far back. He hates to give me gifts that I expect and completely ignored getting me what I asked for, a massage. I love that he really thinks about what he giving me.
Ken, you are the love of my life and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for putting you in my life. I'm so excited to see you as a daddy and to see where we are this time next year with a 7 month old.
I love you! Your Wife

Growing belly

I'll try really hard to not post only about the baby, but it seems to be the main thing going on with us right now.

I'm 19 weeks today! I started feeling the baby kick 2 weeks ago. I thought that I felt it at 16 weeks, but the feeling was much different. At 16 weeks, it felt like a constant pushing against my stomach. But, at 17 weeks it felt more like popcorn popping. It was a great feeling and very comforting. I started to feel the baby move more regularly, especially after I'd eaten. This happened for 4 or 5 days and then went away for 3 days. Of course, I started to freak out and worry that something was wrong. It wasn't until yesterday that I started feeling the baby again. It was a great relief. It's been really fun to talk to the baby. One night he or she wouldn't stop kicking me and we had to have a little talk before I could go to sleep.

We go in for the big ultrasound on October 2nd and we'll be finding out the sex of the baby that day! We're excited to paint the room and get everything ready for him or her. I'm really looking forward to calling the baby by his or her name. We're taking a whole crew with us to the ultrasound. My mom, my mother-in-law and my sister are going with us. I'll let you know when we find out.

Here are the most recent belly pictures:

Isn't it nice that my husband always cuts the top

part of my head off of these pictures?

49er's are playing in the background. He had to get

back to his game ;)

Nothing fits

I knew this day was coming...I just didn't think it would be such an emotional moment. In the last couple weeks my belly has become noticeable enough for people who don't know I'm pregnant to ask me how far along I am. It's been kinda fun. People now come up and rub my belly. Which I don't seem to really mind too much.

However, today when I went to put on my shorts and they no longer fit. I realized last week that none of my maternity pants fit anymore either. I guess it's time to do a little more shopping. Shirts don't seem to be a problem since I've been buying in the clearance bin at the 2nd hand maternity shop and I've had friends giving me their shirts now that they are done having kids. I lost it today right after I weighed myself and realized that I now had gained 9.5 lbs. I know logically that I'm gaining exactly how much weight the books recommend, but I happened to gain 2 lbs this week instead of my normal 1 lb so I freaked out. My hormones got the best of me. I came downstairs to tell Ken and was almost in tears. He tried to calm me down, but I just panicked.

After calling one of my best friends who just had a baby a few weeks ago and begging for a couple pairs of shorts to borrow until the end of September, I called my sister and completely lost it on the phone. She did her best to calm me down and reassure me that everything is alright. One really good piece of advice was that I just need to surrender to my body. I have no control. Which completely makes sense, since the baby's been controlling when I go to the bathroom, eat, sleep, etc for awhile now. If I wake up at 1am to pee, I am starving. The thought has crossed my mind to install a mini fridge upstairs. This baby is evidently a voracious eater.

After my hormone surge, I felt much better. I've settled into a stretchy, non-elastic, skirt that one of the women I work for gave me. It's so comfortable. Ahhhh!!!

At 17 weeks, the baby now weighs about 5 oz and is about 5 inches long from head to rump. The big ultrasound is in 3 1/2 weeks. I'm a little anxious to see that everything is okay and to possibly find out whether this baby is a boy or a girl. Ken still hasn't decided if he wants to find out. I really want to know now. If we're having a boy I want to fully be excited about it when he comes out. I really think the baby is a girl, so if we don't find out and it's a boy, I'm going to be completely shocked.

I go in tomorrow for my 17 week check up. I'll get to hear the heartbeat again and be measured for the first time. I keep thinking that the doctor will probably tell me I'm farther along than I thought or that they missed an additional heartbeat. I may look 5 or 6 months pregnant, but I'm still only 4 months.

The rumors are true

Some of you may have heard that I'm pregnant again!!!! We have been really excited and also very cautious this time around. I am finally into the 2nd trimester so I'm feeling less anxious, but I still have my moments of freaking out. The baby is due February 15th, but I'm aiming for February 8th, Super Bowl Sunday. Ken really doesn't want to miss the game so it's our little joke.
It's been really fun having a room to put all the baby's things into and organized. I have 5 bins of clothes from newborn to 1 year and a bin of blankets. We're in the process of researching cribs and dressers. Some of these stores take 6-10 weeks to deliver and I've heard sometimes they come cracked and have to be reordered. I think to be safe we're going to order in September. I'm hoping to have the nursery put together by January.

We went in at 8 weeks and saw the baby for the first time. Here is the picture:

If you look carefully, the baby looks like he or she is looking to the right and the legs are pointing to the right. It was so nice to finally see what looks like a real baby especially so small.

A week ago I went in for my 12 week appointment and we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. I was in shock when we actually heard it. I went into the appointment expecting not to hear it. At first I heard the fluid swishing around, then my own heartbeat, and finally the baby's heartbeat. My doctor said that the baby was really low in my pelvis. I think the baby is on my bladder. I joke with the kids at work that the baby dances on my bladder.

This time around I was surprised to start showing so early. I noticed it at 8 weeks, and other people noticed at 10 weeks. I started wearing maternity clothes for the most part at 9 or 10 weeks. Everything else felt really uncomfortable. Here are some pictures of the growing belly:

11 weeks trying on maternity clothes.

Messing around with the bump at the store.

One of my best friends, Pam is due in a week and half. I don't even look pregnant next to her. Here's proof that we were pregnant at the same time.

13 weeks!!!

Ken's reaction to my belly that day was, "Oh my gosh!" He says he loves having a pregnant wife.

Ken has been pretty laid back when it comes to this pregnancy. He doesn't seem too worried and I'm sure I drive him nuts most of the time with my paranoia. He's been really supportive and helpful. He's been telling me to go sit down and rest when I start running around like a mad woman trying to do too much. I felt useless during the move since I couldn't really lift anything. We got it all done though.

Ken is certain that the baby is a boy and I am certain that the baby is a girl. The plan all along has been not to find out, but we are discussing whether we should find out anyways. I'll keep you updated as we have more doctor's appointments.

All moved in!

We finally signed all the papers on July 24th and got our keys the same day. I think we both were in shock for a few days and I'm not sure it will really sink in until our first house payment is due in September. The house is looking more like home and is mostly unpacked. The garage is the next project because it's a jumbled mess. Most of what's in the garage is doll stuff from when I was a kid, things I need to sell or baby stuff. Ken's going to put up shelves in the back of the garage so we can get most of the mess off the floor and eventually get my car inside.

The first weekend we were in the house we painted, well Ken painted more than me. We decided it would be easier to paint the kitchen and living room before we moved in. We also started moving boxes over from our garage at the apartment. We were really lucky to have so many people to help us move the rest in on August 1st. Now we're just waiting to get the blinds ordered and installed and the stairwell and hall upstairs painted by the professionals. Ken doesn't want to attempt the 20 ft ceiling and stairs. I don't blame him.

Here are some pictures of downstairs. I'll post pictures of upstairs in awhile.

Moving in with the essentials, including toilet paper.

The living room and kitchen.

Kitchen

The view from the kitchen to the living room.

The house is almost done!

The house is almost done! We only have 4 weeks and 4 days to go until we should close escrow. In the last 3 weeks the house has gone from being drywalled, to textured and painted. The doors were all put in and the vanities in the bathrooms. All of our gorgeous cabinets went in all 3 bathrooms and the kitchen. The cultured marble countertops went in the bathrooms and our tile counters went in. We were really surprised to find that our cabinets were so dark. We don't remember during the design center appointment them being darker wood. It looks so nice though! Who knows if it was their mistake or not, but we're not saying anything.

Last week they poured the cement for the driveway, the walkway, porch and at the foot of the doors in the backyard. Oh, and the house was painted about a week and half ago. It's beige with white trim and has a dark green door. Can you tell I'm in love with my house? We're so ready to leave this apartment, but it's always a little bittersweet to leave any home, no matter the size.

June 11th

The port-o-potty was still in front of our house!

Smelly and it had a pin up girl inside of it!

We found this lovely drawing on our master bedroom wall a couple week ago.

Thankfully, it was painted over about a week later.

June 21st

It's painted!

Our huge kitchen. I can't wait to fill it up!

The cabinets are so high I will need a stool to reach anything above the 3rd shelf.

9 inch deep sinks

Double sinks in master bathroom. They are higher counters too!

The view across the street from the 2nd bedroom.

June 28th