Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Another case of Mom Guilt

I've come down with another case of mom guilt. All of you moms know what I'm talking about. We want to do everything right and beat ourselves up when we feel like we fall short.
Lately, it's been over food. Before Ethan was born I had every intention of making organic baby food. I started out making it, but after a few times I got lazy. It's not even that it's difficult because it's not. I am just plain lazy. I still buy mostly organic baby food, but it's expensive and I can't help but feel like I should have done more. I think mostly I feel like other moms might be judging me even if they aren't. When I was a kid my mom gave me baby food that wasn't organic and I turned out okay.
Lately, I've realized that every mom has something that they feel guilt over and we tend to compare ourselves to other moms. Whether it's comparing because we know our kids are doing something faster than others, or it's comparing because we want to make sure that our kids are not behind. Logically I know that every kid grows and hits milestones at different times and the books aren't always right. I need to let my kid be and he'll do it when he's ready. I wish I could just do that.
I also feel mom guilt about going back to work. I have to do it and I know it will all be fine, but I still feel guilty and sad. I'm also jealous of those moms who get the chance to stay home full time. I should be grateful that we can afford for me to go back to work part time. Some moms have no choice.
Basically, I guess, I'm just a big complainer today. I'll get over my mom guilt or find something else to feel guilty over, but I'm glad that I recognize it. I think I'd be in denial if I didn't.
For all those moms who have to work I feel your pain and your guilt. Please don't beat yourself up about it. We all can only do our best for our kids and we should be okay with that. No one is the perfect parent, so why should we expect ourselves to be?

2 comments:

  1. Awe Erin hun, it will be OK, I promise. You are a totally normal mother in which depending on the day, the guilt will evolve into something else. Don't stress at all about the baby food. Unless you are giving him raw eggs or uncooked chicken, he wil be totally fine! Gerber, Natures Best...I don't know what else is out there has it down pat!!! As for going back to work, look at it as grown-up, mommy adult time!! It warms my heart to hear how you have taken to being a stay at home mom because that is something that I could not do. But hey, look at it this way, you won't get the running excited Ethan yelling "mommy, mommy your home" with a great big bear hug if you didn't go back to work :) I LOVE those hugs!!! They are the best!! Hang in there hun. Love you guys!!

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  2. Elizabeth said it well, Erin. You'll be fine.

    Don't sweat the food thing. Every mom wants the "best" for their child, but the "best" isn't in food or clothes, its in the relationship you have with your child. You and Ken obviously love on and slurp on Ethan, so I have every confidence Ethan will be fine, and you will too.

    Trust God to find what He thinks is right, and just keep on being thankful for the joy you have. ;-)

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