Development

I try not worry about Ethan's development as much as I did before. He is progressing, just not as fast as he's "supposed" to. I have had to remind myself that what the books say and what the doctor measure by are only averages. However, I do hope that he will crawl before he turns 1.
Because of his CF, I try to remind myself that he's gone through a lot more than most kids his age. He's had nebulizer treatments, vest treatments, special supplements, sputum testing (basically making him gag), antibiotics, and he's been in the hospital twice in the last year.
I have realized that as much as I want him to crawl, I can't make him crawl. He has to want it himself. He just seems to not care and that's okay with me. I don't want to be one of those parents that pushes their kid too hard, especially since there's nothing I can do. I encourage him to move and try not to pick him up as much. Ultimately, he will do it in his own timing. For now, he's pulling himself up on his play table and the gate and he scoots backwards all over the room. He's moving and that's what's important. I've learned that I need to stop comparing my kid to everyone else's. He's not someone else's kid and although I would love to brag that he's doing everything on time or early, that's not reality for him. I'm so proud of what he does do.
I'm sorry if I come across defensive. I have felt so much pressure from well meaning people even when they don't mean to come across that way. It's the shaking of their heads and the silence when they hear he's not crawling that makes me feel like I'm under a microscope or being judged. It's as if they are saying "Ohhhhh". Now that I've shared I feel a lot better.

Crawling...or not

For those of you moms out there whose kids did things early or right on time please try to understand how it feels when you're kid does some things late.
Ethan sat up on time, rolled over on time, and started babbling early. He sat up at 6 1/2 months and sat up really well at 8 months. He's been scooting backwards for the last 3 weeks (when he was 9 months). He just doesn't seem to care to crawl. He's 10 months old and I have begun to worry. The books say that it's not uncommon for kids to just get up and walk and skip crawling all together or for them to crawl later than 10 months old. I feel like I'm placing so much expectation on Ethan to keep up with my friends kids. I keep forgetting that he's an individual and the books are just averages. You always want your kid to be more than average. I have friends whose kids crawled at 6 1/2 months or walked at 10 months and my kid just doesn't care to do it.
I wonder how I can let it go when in the back of my mind I'm worried that he'll never do it. But, then I remember that there was a time that I didn't think he's ever roll over, or sit up, etc. He did all of them and he did them in his own timing. I've got to just let go and let him be Ethan.

Life As A New Mom

I love being a mom! Today Ethan is 7 weeks old. We just went to the Pulmonologist's office yesterday for a clinic and Ethan weighed in at 11 lbs! I can't believe he's gained 2 1/2 lbs since birth. He's also 22 inches long! My little boy is growing so fast. Yesterday we met with the pulmonologist, the dietician, and the social worker. I was pleased to hear that he has completely recovered from the Brochialitis! The dietician told us that as he gets older he will be able to eat normal food. We will need to make sure he eats a well-balanced diet and that what he eats is high in nutrients. We will have to keep him away from juice, soda, tea and eventually coffee. We were told that Cystic Fibrosis kids tend to not eat a ton so what they do eat needs to be high in nutrients and that's why they want him to stay away from drinking anything other than water and milk. Kids who drink a lot of juice, soda, etc. tend to not gain the weight they need to and CF kids tend to not gain a ton of weight anyways. We are very happy that he is growing very well and that proportionately he's in the 68th percentile with the goal being to keep him over 50%.

Ethan and I are beginning to ease into a routine. He's such an easygoing little guy. I think his personality is a lot like Ken's. He is calm, social, talkative, and laughs a lot! A few days ago I laid him down on his playmat and he talked and laughed at a picture of a rabbit for 10 minutes. It's so fun to watch him learn new things and to take everything in. He loves to have conversations with us too! We'll ask him something and he'll coo back and laugh. It's really funny! I'll have to get a video and post it in the next week or so.

I really wish that we could afford for me to stay home with him full-time, but it will probably be unlikely. For now, I'm on maternity leave for who knows how long. I have an appointment with the postpastum therapist on Monday to extend my disability as long as possible. I'm hoping that in the end I can get an extension of 8-12 weeks and then I'll have Paid Family Leave on top of that. If all goes well I'll be off through the end of the summer PAID! I joke about wanting to get as much time out of the state money, but really I medically need it. I have postpartum depression, which is even more common in people who have Bipolar disorder. I've been managing with Zoloft and trying to take it easy. I've learned a lot of coping strategies through the years and especially over the course of the last year and a half being off meds. I will be going back on my medication soon since I've stopped breastfeeding altogether. That's a whole other post :) It usually takes a few months for meds to start to take full effect and we have to start all over now that my body has changed through pregnancy. I'm hoping it can be done fairly quickly, but also that I can have more time paid with my baby. For now, we're doing pretty good and we'll have to wait and see what comes next.

I'll post more pictures later in the week. He's growing so fast!

I'm going to pop!!!! (27 weeks)

26 weeks

I'm 27 weeks now. Not much has changed, other than the belly is growing rapidly. The back pains are getting worse and I'm started to feel huge. 13 more weeks to go and I know I'll get much bigger. In the last few weeks it's been fun to go out in public because it's very obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat. I'm beginning to get really excited that in 3 months Ethan will be here, but I'm also a little anxious. I've always felt very prepared to have my own kids, but the whole childbirth, the first few months with a newborn and the 24/7 of being a mom scares me. I think it's the unknown and the waiting that gets to me. It already seems to be coming very quickly. I'm now in the 3rd trimester. Our childbirth class and tour of the hospital are just around the corner and between Thanksgiving & Christmas I have a feeling time will fly by and before we know it it'll be January and I'll be on maternity leave.

We are starting to work on his room. This week, Ken painted Ethan's room a creamy green that will go really well with the bedding. The furniture comes from the Goores Outlet in 1 week and then I have to start organizing all the bedding, blankets, and clothes we already have. The majority of the clothes we have are girls clothes so they're going into the garage for hopefully the next baby. Ken and his dad are going to finish installing the fan in the baby's room by the end of the week and then we can start moving in the glider, the furniture and everything else in from the garage. I can already start to feel myself nesting. I'm looking forward to the day I can walk out of my bedroom and see into his finished bedroom.

As you can probably tell my brain is all over the place. I feel out of control because I can't do a lot to help get the room ready because most of it requires heavy lifting or painting. It'll be nice when it's organizing time!

By the way, I feel so big that I'm sure if something sharp bumped my belly I'd probably pop! UGH! I'm so done being pregnant!!! Don't get me wrong, I love the kicks, when they don't involve my ribs, but the aches and pains have got to go and I know they won't until it's over! To top it all off I have horrible heartburn all the time and Tums just doesn't do the job. It doesn't matter what I eat, heartburn is always there. Okay, enough complaining. On the bright side, only 91 days, according to Babycenter.com until I get to see my son's face! All worth it!