Lila is still waking up in the middle of the night once or twice to eat. We've tried giving her less to eat when she wakes up, but it hasn't worked yet. We still have a ways to go with that before I think we'll see results. I don't think there's a reason she wakes up and I don't think she's really hungry. I guess we need to just let her cry. I hate doing that especially in the middle of the night when everybody just wants to sleep. Thankfully she's only up about 5-10 minutes with a bottle and right back to sleep. I'm so tired from not sleeping all night.
Life as a mother of a toddler and a baby is not a walk in the park. It's difficult and any mom who tells you otherwise is lying. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful too. However, it can have horrible moments mixed in with the good sometimes. Am I a bad mom because I don't love being with my kids every waking second? No, I know I'm not. I want so badly to enjoy more of my days with the kids. I know they will grow fast and I'll miss it because I'm wishing the day will be over so we can start new tomorrow.
Well, I hope I haven't made the wrong impression on people. I do love being Ethan & Lila's mommy. It's just a struggle sometimes. A struggle that I'll keep fighting because I love my kids and know they are worth the effort.
Ethan & Lila - If you ever read this know that mommy loved you even on the bad days.