Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Being a stay at home mom/working mom

It's hard to distinguish whether I'm a stay at home mom or a working mom only because I'm both. I work 15 hours a week so I'm home a fair amount of the time. It feels like I'm home all the time as the laundry piles up, cleaning never seems done, kids need to be fed (AGAIN!), naps need to be taken, and homework needs to be done. Add to that Ethan's endless treatments and I feel overwhelmed most of the time.

Overwhelmed so much that I can't move sometimes. I mean I make it all happen, but it feels like I'm moving at a snails pace and my house is a mess in the mean time. Would I trade it for working full time? Probably not.

I love seeing my kids faces when I pick them up from school on my two days off and hearing about their day. Even though Ethan's response is typically "I don't know" or "We did nothing". Would I love to be home full time? Maybe, but for now it's nice to be at work 3 days a week, to have some time away from my own kids and feel refreshed when I get home from work. It makes me a better mom.

I'm often overwhelmed by all the doctor's appointment, dealing with nurses and doctor emails, medicine refills that never seem to stop and mostly everything revolving around Ethan's health. I wish I could get paid to handle all of it since it's so time consuming.

I am in no way saying that if you are a full time stay at home mom or a full time working mom that you should be happy or unhappy with your situation. For me, this makes sense. Thankfully we've been able to make it work with me working part time since Ethan was born, with a couple breaks in time off to be a full time stay at home mom right after my babies were born.

I'm very thankful for my husband, who works hard to help us pay all our bills and I'm thankful I'm able to work so we can save some money every month or pay for extra things we need.

As my kids get older and go to school more I know my need as a stay at home parent will lessen and I will miss this time. I also know that being a parent never stops even when they are grown, married and have their own kids.

I don't really know where I'm going with this other than that I'm thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my kids most of the time and I wish I took it minute by minute more often to enjoy every moment my kids are young.

The days roll by sometimes without me even realizing, among the day to day operations, that my kids are getting bigger and more independent.

So whatever your circumstance or situation embrace it. We're all parents no matter what it looks like. The point is take it all in and embrace it. Motherhood (& fatherhood) is a gift and not everyone can or will experience it. Hug and kiss your kids more often and know that you are doing your best as a parent.