The counselor we started meeting with told us to start a marble jar for good behavior. He seems to really like the marble jar and it reminds us to praise him more than just saying no all day long. It's hard to stop and praise him for doing something right, but it's been a great lesson for us too. If he gets 10 marbles he gets to go to Target and pick something out, although we've had smaller goals lately. The counselor told us he should earn a reward every day or every other day so he gets the idea and remembers to be good. So far he's earned a milkshake from McDonald's and tonight if he earns 2 marbles he'll get a candy corn oreo cookie.
She also told us to start reading a book called "1-2-3 Magic". I like the basic philosophy of the book. Although, the counselor has tweeked some things in it to better suit our family. Basically it's a counting system. The first offense is 1, then second offense 2, and the third offense is time out for 3 minutes (since he's 3). We bought a kitchen timer that is extremely loud so he can see and hear the timer go off. He still struggles with talking during timeout and sometimes he ends up in his room because he kicks the bathroom door or won't stay in timeout. Overall, I like the book. Ethan is a tough kid to get to do anything, unless it's his idea. I've had to learn that I need to give him a heads up before we need to start doing something.
The counselor told us that it sounds like Ethan has a hard time with changes and transitioning. This makes a lot of sense considering he hates when we change the routine or when we try to get him to start doing something spur of the moment.
I think the book and the counselling are helping. We have one more session before we stop, but I think we're on the right track. I've already begun to have more fun with Ethan. It's become less of a struggle than it was before.
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