Rolling Over & Sleeping through the night

Last week Ethan rolled over for the first time. I didn't believe it when he actually rolled over so I made him do it over and over again. The next day Ken made a video of it. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGDm8FD_-so&feature=autofb

I know I always say this but it's amazing to watch him grow right before my eyes. He's able to sit supported on the couch or in my lap. He needs to gain a pound or two before he'll be able weigh down his jumperoo enough to bounce. For now, I'm doing the bouncing for him.

Last week I set up his jumperoo and highchair. We will most likely be starting rice cereal when he turns 4 months on the 18th. Can't believe that! I had intended to wait until he was 5 or even 6 months to start solids, but the dietician thinks that in order to continue in the right direction with Ethan's weight we should probably start early. About 2 weeks ago we were told by the dietician to start concentrating the formula. We use less water and more powder. For a 6oz bottle we mix 5.5oz water and 3.25 scoops of formula. This makes it so it's 24 calories per ounce instead of the normal 20. It's amazing how an ounce of formula is the same amount of calories that is usually in a piece of gum. Crazy that babies can survive on that. Ethan is at about 32oz a day now of concentrated formula so he's at 768 calories a day, compared to what would have been 640. Cystic Fibrosis kids needs between 1% and 1.5% more calories than a normal kid because they burn so many calories breathing.

Ethan was weighed on May 5th when we were admitted to the hospital for the 2nd time. He was 11 1/2 lbs then. We went back 3 weeks later and he was 12lbs 15oz. Tomorrow we go in to see the pulmonologist and the rest of the team (social worker, dietician, nurse, respiratory therapist) for clinic. Even though it's only been a week since he was weighed I have a feeling he will be almost 14 lbs. We'll see.

We've been working with Ethan on sleeping through the night or at least only getting up once to eat. For the last few weeks he has been getting up closer to 3/330am for his first feeding, but not every night. Before that he was getting up twice to eat @ 1/130am and 430/5am. We are happy to say that it looks like by giving him an earlier bed time (645pm) he now sleeps from 645pm to 345am before his first feeding and then goes back to sleep until 545/6am. It's been nice to get more sleep and I'm actually surprised that he sleeps longer because he goes to bed earlier. The earlier bedtime is nice for us so Ken & I can spend some time together and Ethan loves to go to bed early.

That's what's happening in our world!

Reading with Grammy - very interested!

Ethan's favorite onesie from his Auntie! Well, one of many cute ones!

We need to remember to take this onesie out for BBQ nights and get him some little BBQ tools :)

My handsome boy!


A Daddy vs. Ethan stare down. Guess who won?

Ethan doing is treatments very contently.

Uncle Tim & Ethan


One of Ethan's crazy faces!

3 Month Portraits

His Easter Outfit (or what would have been his Easter outfit if it had fit)


Ethan turned 3 months old on the 18th! It seems like everyday he is doing something new. I've been trying to put him on his tummy more often. It's hard to remember to do it since when he is up he's usually eating or having a vest or nebulizer treatment. I try to give him time to play, but sometimes it's not very much time. When I did put him on his tummy a couple days ago he was really close to rolling over. I think he'll be doing it by the end of next week.
Ken & I took Ethan to JcPenney's Portraits to have his 3 month photos taken. He missed his morning nap, so I was worried they wouldn't turn out very good. We didn't get a really good smile, but the grin made up for it.
Who do you think he looks like in this one?



A Family Photo

Ethan's talk with Great-Granner

On Saturday, Ethan got to spend more time with Ken's Granner, his great-granner. He was very into her. I have never heard him talk so much to anyone. He smiled and cooed at her. Ethan hasn't seen her since his 2nd cousin, Gavin's 1st birthday in March and before that it was the day after he was born. He is getting to be so much more fun and smiles more each day. I think he's a very happy baby. In fact, he's wearing his "Happy" shirt today.
Here are some of the pictures of him with his great-granner.

Mom Guilt

"Why I outta!"

All smiles

Ethan looks so much like me in this picture.

I've realized in the last weeks how guilty I feel when I leave Ethan. I guess it's a case of mom guilt. I find myself hurrying back sooner than I meant to, mostly because I really miss him, but I think it's also because of the guilt. I can't seem to stop it.
On the weekends Ken tries to let me sleep in, but by 8am I'm downstairs because I feel like I'm taking advantage by leaving Ken with the baby. Ken usually says, "Go to bed. I've got it!" I need to get over it and just sleep in. I totally trust Ken with the baby so that's not the problem.
My main problem with mom guilt is that I can't sit down and do something for myself without feeling guilty. If I go upstairs to read or take a bath, I keep thinking about how I need to get back to Ethan. I have talked to other moms who feel the same. I remember telling my sister last year that she needed to spend more time doing things for herself because taking care of herself would help her to be a better mom. I need to take my own advice. I never knew that being a mom came with the desire to constantly be everything for your kids.
I'm learning to let myself do special things for me. I know that it's just as important to take care of myself so I'm a better mom, as it is to take care of my marriage so we're better parents. I just need to actually do it.

Before I was a Mom...

An old friend of mine sent me this today:

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

1st Mother's Day

I woke up on Mother's Day all alone. Ethan was still in the hospital and Ken had spent the night with him. We weren't sure if he would be released on Mother's Day or the day after. Once I got up I went to Starbucks to treat myself and get something for Ken. The weather was dreary. That was exactly how I felt too. I'd been looking forward to my 1st Mother's Day since last Mother's Day.
We ended up finding out around noon that Ethan would be going home and after 3 hrs were released to go home. After Ethan threw up on the way home and a bath at home we headed to my parents house to celebrate. We also had to finish my Mother's Day gift from my sister and me.
My mom loved her apron and cried when she opened it along with a photo of 3 out of 4 of her grandkids. This was the first year that I truly understood why we celebrate Mother's Day. As a mother, I now understand how my mom felt while we were growing up and what she did for us. It's overwhelming to be mom, but very worth it. I have such an appreciation for my mom. She is so strong and taught me how to be a good mom. I love you, Mommy!
Ken and Ethan gave me a kit to make a stepping stone with Ethan's footprints on it. The funny thing is I was planning on getting Ken the same thing for Father's Day. I guess I'll have to rethink that.
I hope all of you who are mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day. I can't wait for next year when I will wake up with my little boy jumping on my bed on Mother's Day.

"Mommy, I love my hands!"

My precious boy taking a nap

Notice that Ethan is Superman!!!

He wouldn't let go of the rings.

Ethan is growing so fast! The last time he was weighed he was almost 12 lbs and 23 inches long. He loves to bat at toys and likes to hold his keys. He's starting to master holding his head up for longer periods of time. I think that rolling over will happen in the next few weeks. I feel bad because he's hardly ever on the floor since he's always having some kind of treatments for CF. He loves to kick his legs and chew on his hands. He's getting pretty close to getting his whole hand in his mouth.
I love to watch him talk to the fan and to us. He's such a talker! Just like his mommy! Ken said that he had hoped that Ethan wouldn't be much of a talk until he was older, ha...fat chance of that. He's got Schwiesow genes! It was inevitable.
He's a very social baby. He likes almost everyone, except if he's feeling sick or is really tired. Once he's swaddled and has his binkie he will fall asleep in seconds. I can't believe I have such an easy kid. I know some of it must be dumb luck, but I like to believe that God gave us an easy going baby because of all of the other hurdles we were going to have to jump over. He's such an amazing baby!
I have a calendar in the kitchen to keep track of his milestones and I'm glad it's there because I would completely forget the dates that he has done all the things.
Just in the few weeks he has slept 6-7 hrs during the night 4 out of 7 days of one week before he got sick, started holding his head steady, starting grabbing at toys and gripping them trying to get them into his mouth, talks a lot and mimics whatever Ken or I say. He copies, "Goo", "Uh,oh", "Oh", & "Mommmm". When he was in the hospital last week I could have sworn that he said, "Elllla" when he cried. I know he doesn't associate those words with anything, but it's cute to see him mimic us and see how fascinated he is to listen to whatever we say. His grin makes my day and I just can't help but smile myself.