He's coming home soon!

Ethan is doing much better. We were told initially that they most likely wouldn't have admitted him if it wasn't for the wheezing and the CF. When we got to the hospital he had lost 6oz in a week, but now he's gained 4 oz of that back. He is still puking up phlegm and some formula because of his treatments, but everytime the respiratory therapist comes in to do a treatment they say he sounds better. Dr. Treis said today that he will be home on Sunday or Monday. I'm still really hoping for Sunday, not only because of Mother's Day, but because Sunday night will be my turn again to stay the night. I stayed from noon Thursday until about 1030 this morning. I slept for about 30 minutes last night because Ethan had something in his throat that he couldn't completely cough up all night. I was completely wiped when I got home. Luckily, because I was stranded at the hospital without a car, my dad and grandma came to get me this morning. I slept from 12-6pm completely zonked out. I will be going back in the morning so my mom, who is staying tonight, can go home to sleep and will be there until late tomorrow afternoon until Ken comes back for the night.

We are lucky that this is just a cold and not bacterial. He does have a viral infection, but because it's not bacterial it will not leave damage on his lungs. Any infant could have gotten the Brochialitis he had 7 weeks ago or this virus. They are just being extra cautious.

For now we're trying to take it as it comes. I have had my moments of completely losing it more this time that last time. I think as a mother you feel guilty when something happens to your child. You want to shield them from everything and wave your magic wand and make it all better. Thankfully, we have great doctors, hospital staff and great family and friends to help us along the way. Thank you so much for praying for our family and our little boy! We really hope that this is the last time he is in the hospital until he's ready for a "tune-up" in a year.

Ethan is still in good spirits. If a man comes in to work on him he doesn't really pay much attention, but once any women comes in his eyelashes start to bat at her and he grins. He likes the ladies! The only time I see him looking miserable is when he is having a coughing fit. He still turns red, but thankfully more is coming out and he's eating better.

I'll try to send out another update as we know more, but things are looking better. We're hoping that because it's spring and almost summer that sicknesses will be non-existent until the fall.

I'll attach pictures later today.

Thanks!
Erin, Ken & Ethan.

Mommy's injury

A few days after returning back from Ethan's 1st hospital stay, my left wrist started hurting a lot. I figured that I had held Ethan the wrong way and that his weight on my wrist in the wrong position was what caused the soreness. After seeing the doctor a month ago I was given a splint, told to take 600mg of Motrin 3x a day and that it should be better in two weeks. After two weeks it wasn't better, it was worse. It was then clicking when I used it and it hurt a lot in the morning. I headed back to the doctor a week and a half ago and she told me that it looked worse but I should discontinue using the splint because it looked like the pain was coming from inflammation. She referred me to the orthopaedic surgeon to see what was really going on. Unfortunately, the only appointment they had was a week and half out.
Today was my appointment and because Ken was at the hospital with Ethan I was able to go. The orthopedic surgeon gave me a cortisone shot and told me that I had tendonitis. Evidently, it's very common postpartum to have tendonitis because of all the fluid that you retain during pregnancy and hold onto for a few months after. I have the splint back on my wrist for another month. It's really uncomfortable and more so as I type on my laptop. Hopefully it will heal quickly and I won't need surgery. It takes 3-6 months to heal without surgery. Yuck! No biggie, it's not like I have an infant at home to take care of?
When it rains it poors. Since Ethan was born, I had a 3rd degree tear that took a month to finally even begin to feel better, Ethan was hospitalized for 8 days at 3 1/2 weeks, I was told I have dermatitis on my face and put on antibiotics for a month, Ethan got a cold which sent us to the hospital again, and I have tendonitis. I hope next month is better!

Good news!

Earlier this morning we got the test results back for whooping cough. It was negative for whooping cough. He's been coughing a lot more frequently here, but that most likely is because of the albuterol treatments which irritate his throat so that everything can loosen up. We are continuing his vest treatments at the hospital 4x a day for 10 minutes. One of the pulmonologist told Ken today that he will be here for a few more days, but that he couldn't give us exact date because they need to see improvement first. It looks like we'll most likely be here on Mother's Day. I guess we'll do the baby dedication at church on Father's Day instead.

He's eating a little better now so hopefully he'll start gaining weight again. He was 11 lbs 14.5 oz last Wednesday when I initially brought him in at the beginning of the cold. Yesterday when I took him in he had lost 6 oz in a week. It's weird, I noticed earlier this week that he had lost weight. Luckily, he's still sleeping 10PM-3AM, like at home. Right before he got sick he was just getting to the point where he would sleep 6-7 hrs a night. Hopefully once we are home and he is well we can get back to that again.

For now, we're just taking it day by day and hoping we'll be home by the end of the weekend.
Erin, Ken & Ethan

Back in the hospital...again

Unfortunately, earlier today Ethan and I had our 2nd ambulance ride to the hospital. Ethan has had a cold for a little over a week. I thought he was getting better, but over the weekend he started coughing and by Monday it turned into hacking. He threw up a few times over the weekend, sometimes very little and once or twice big time. Gradually, he's been taking less and less formula and having fewer wet diapers. I was beginning to get worried that he was getting dehydrated and when he would go into a hacking fit his face would turn bright red and it would last for 30-45 seconds. He had a hard time eating, which is very unlike him.
Today I decided to take him in to see the pediatrician. Once we got there they checked his respirations, the pulling around his ribs, and he was at 80 respirations a minute. Normal is 40-50 for babies. They decided to give him an albuterol treatment in the office and after it was over his respirations were at 60, but still too high. The pediatrician called Ethan's pulmonologist who decided that we were going to be admitted to the hospital. As soon as the doctor left the room, I lost it. I felt so guilty for getting sick in the first place and for giving it to him. I know I've tried my best to stay healthy and to keep him from getting sick, but I felt helpless. I want to protect him from everything and it's just impossible. I've gotten very used to washing my hands a million times a day and using hand sanitizer so much that my hands are dry and peeling in some places, but it's still not enough. There are germs and viruses everywhere. How can I protect him from everything? I can't.
After getting to the hospital via the ambulance, which Ethan again slept through, we were admitted to Kaiser Roseville. They had done an x-ray in at the Rancho Cordova clinic before we left so the results were ready later this afternoon. It showed that he has something similar to what he had last time, but it's not nearly as bad. You could see on the x-ray that one of his diaphrams is a little bit collapsed from all the hacking and wheezing. They said it's a virus and they will let it run its course and treat the symptoms. For now, he is having albuterol nebulizer treatments every 4 hours, antibiotics to help get rid of more of the staph aureous he had last time and suctioning of his nose to get more of the congestion out. It amazes me that through it all he is still flirting with our nurse. He batted his long eyelashes at her a few times and gave her his killer smile. What a flirt! Then, he started cooing and saying, "Goo, goo!"
We have been told that he will be in the hospital for 2-3 days at this point. They have decided to run a test for pertussis, whooping cough, because cases have risen recently. We won't have those results for 2 days. If it is whooping cough he will be in the hospital longer to be monitored. For now, they are giving him a med to help him from spreading it to others just in case he has it. If he does have it the main concern is that he could stop breathing and that's why they would closely monitor him.
I am somewhat at peace knowing that he is at the hospital being well taken care and that Ken is there with him tonight so I can finally get a full night of sleep. I have been living in a whirlwind lately and barely sleeping at all. It's starting to catch up with me. No one can live on 30 minutes here and 2 hours there for long. It takes me 2 hours to fall asleep and by then 30 minutes later he's awake or I hear him coughing. The other night I slept on the floor for an hour beside his crib because I had been getting up so much.
I pray that he will recover quickly from this and we'll have him home soon enough with us. I really hope we'll spend my 1st Mother's Day at home, but I'll enjoy it no matter where I am as long as I have my sweet baby boy with me. Please pray for Ken & I as we ride through this rollercoaster of emotions again. Pray that God will give us the strength to keep pushing through and that we won't lose our hope and faith that God is with us and taking care of us every step of the way.
Thanks for your prayers!
Erin, Ken & Ethan

Snot, Formula & Medicine

Ethan has been sick with a cold for the last few days. He got it from me and I was pretty miserable for about a week before I started seeing that he had one too! It is virtually impossible to keep him from getting whatever I get because we're together all day. I washed my hands and used hand sanitizer so much that my hands are really dry.
Yesterday we ended up taken him to the pediatrician after his mid day nap. He woke up with spit up or throw up, I'm not sure which it was, and as soon as I picked him up he spit up more. The best part was that it was orange because his vitamins are orange and he had just had them 2 hours earlier. Gross. I'm learning that as a mother you're first instinct is to protect your child. When he started spitting up I immediately turned him toward my chest so he would throw up all over me...and he did. I changed my clothes 3x yesterday.
The funniest thing about yesterday was that last night after I had fed him and given him some Mylicon for gas and Tylenol for the low grade fever he had, he sneezed. It was a sneeze with whatever was in his mouth coming out. I had him on my knees facing me, so you guessed it, it was all over me. Ken was sitting next to me and cracked up. I have to admit that I laughed as well. But, the best part was that Ethan just stared at us like, "What?" It was a great way to relieve the stress of him being sick.
We try not to worry too much when he gets sick, but it's hard not to worry that any sickness will turn into something bad. Luckily, we have a great team of doctors and they help us every step of the way. We recently received Ethan's wrap vest. We are using it 3x a day for 10 minutes at a time. It helps to get all the gunk out of his chest. It seems to be workin through this sickness since whenever he spits up a lot it has phlegm in it. I guess I'm grateful for the machine and the phlegm, as nasty as it is to have it all over yourself. I'm learning to enjoy the good and bad parts of being a mommy!
Here are some pics of Ethan with his wrap on:

2 months old

I can't believe that Ethan is now over 2 months old and 9 weeks today! He is changing so much everyday. He talks a lot and loves to have conversations with me, Ken, Grammy (Ken's mom), Nana (my mom) and Papa (my dad). He coos and gurgles and smiles a lot. We haven't been too successful at getting a really good picture of Ethan smiling. He really likes the red light on the camera, so he gets distracted easily. I'm not sure if I mentioned it in the last post but Ethan loves fans and clocks. He will look right past someone's face to smile at the fan. He was very excited to see that he had his own fan when we moved him into his room at 5 weeks. It's been so much better having him sleep across the hall so we don't hear every single noise he makes. I have been amazed that I can hear when he wakes up before Ken. Ken says I have ears like a hawk, or something like that. I guess it's a mommy thing.
He just gets cuter everyday. I love spending my days with him. Although, I am relieved when Ken comes home and takes him. I'm off on disability through the middle of July at the earliest. He will be 5 months old by then so I feel like if my doctor says I'm ready to go back to work he at least should be consistently sleeping through the night. We lucked out twice last week when he slept two nights for 6-7 hrs. One night I had to give him back his binkie twice, but he didn't get out to eat, and the next night he slept from 10PM-5AM. I kept waking up thinking he would wake to eat.
Ethan with Ken on Sunday waiting for the Giants game! Notice the "Beat LA" sign in the background.

Maybe one of these days we'll get more pictures of me with Ethan. It's the curse of being a mom.

Mother's Poem

Okay, so I stole this poem from my friend, Kerri's blog, but it's great!

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want it to have ten fingers and ten toes.


Mothers lie.


Every mother wants so much more. She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.


She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants. Some mothers get babies with something more.


Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. The doctor's words took your breath away. It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind right out of you.


Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled her for a well check, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news. It didn't seem possible. That didn't run in your family. Could this really be happening in your lifetime?


I watch the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing, it's a wondrous thing. They appear as specimens without flaw -- muscles, strength and coordination all working in perfect harmony. Then an athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.


There's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery. Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.


Frankly, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.


I wonder how you endure the cliches and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one -- saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God. Choose me! I've got what it takes."


You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.


You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law. You're a wonder.