Stay-at-home mom

I'm a stay-at-home-mom for now and it's taking some getting used to. I like that I don't have to follow anyone's rules and I can plan my days around what I want to do, well sort of. I have to plan around Ethan, but you get what I mean.

It's been a little over a month since I quit my job and I'm still looking for work. I'm enjoying my time at home but I'm also a little bored. It seems like all the things I want to do with my free time involve money, which we don't have. Even a simple trip to the zoo cost something and now that Ethan's 2 he is not free most places. So we fill our days with trips to the park, walking with neighbors, play dates, play group and the occasional trip to Target or the outlets to explore.

I'm not complaining. I'd much rather be at home with Ethan than at work. I just need to get into a groove. By groove I mean I probably need to work on cleaning my house a little more than I do. It's not filthy but I don't clean nearly as much as I should. Sure, the bathrooms aren't disgusting, but the dusting that should have been done a month or longer ago is driving me crazy. But do I do anything about it no. I just go take a nap. It'll eventually get done.

I like taking naps when Ethan takes naps and sleeping in until he wakes up in the morning. What can I say, I love to sleep. I always have. I just hope I'm not being a lazy stay-at-home mom. I watch other moms and think they are super woman. They cook dinner every night, keep their houses looking great, toys organized and sometimes they even put makeup on. Shocking, I know. The best ones even bake during the day. I just can't summon the drive to do all these things. Am I the only mother who's this way?

I guess I'm too hard on myself. After all my kid is clean, knows his ABC's, does puzzles, reads all day, and is happy for most of the day. Why am I so hard on myself? I'm raising a good boy and that takes time and energy everyday. I'm being productive by taking good care of him.

So if having a messy house is my reality so be it. I'm not super woman and probably behind it all none of the women I think are perfect are super woman either. You can't do it all. Sometimes the most important thing about being a mom is being present and not running around like a mad woman all day. We all have been there. I just need to keep reminding myself that Ethan will only be small for so long and I need to be present with him everyday so I don't miss this time. I have the rest of my life to keep my house clean.

I'm mostly thankful for a husband that doesn't make me feel like it's all on me. I don't get asked why the house isn't in order all the time or why meals haven't been planned for the week. We figure it out together. I guess I do need to step up my game now that I'm home everyday, but I'll get there eventually. I'm not going to stress about it though. I'm a good mom and a good wife even if I don't get it all done.