Parenthood

When I dreamed about becoming a mom, I didn't think it would be like it is in reality. I'm not saying that I don't like how it is. It's just much different than I envisioned. I thought that as a mom and an experienced nanny, that I would have it all together. Sure, I'd have a few battles with sleep training, sleeping through the night, getting the baby on a schedule, but no biggie.
Then I became a mom, and all of that went out of the window. Now I know that being a mom requires constant switching it up. When you think you've mastered something it crumbles or you have to start all over. Being a mom with all of these difficult aspects to overcome is completely worth it, but my bubble has been popped. I'm 4 months in and sometimes I feel like this "job" will never end...and it won't. I love my job as a mom, but it's the stuff in between that sometimes makes me wonder what I was thinking before when everything looked so easy.
I have a great little boy, who is so easy going, follows a routine/schedule and eats like a horse. I still worry constantly about whether he's getting enough to eat or whether he's sleeping too much or too little. Just when I get him to sleep I start to worry that he's not breathing. I worry that I will fall down the stairs while carrying him or that someone won't take care of him as well as I would. I know from talking to other moms that all these things are just how moms think. You never stop worrying about your kids and I'm no different. This is just the beginning of the joys of parenthood and I'm up for the rollercoaster ride, even if it means constantly worrying. He's a great kid and I wouldn't trade him for anything. (Not even a years worth of full nights of sleep ;)