Auntie Wiesow's Ramblings

Schwiesow Christmas Part 1

2012-01-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

I am so late with this post but I really need to post about it.
This year for Christmas we did what we always do, we spend Christmas morning at my sister's and Christmas afternoon/evening at my parents house.
On Christmas morning Ken, Ethan and I got up and enjoyed some time together in front of the tree. Ethan got a CAT truck that we found at Costco. He loved it, but was still running around with his new lawnmower from the day before.

We headed over to my sister's house for brunch about 10am. There we munched on a french toast dish, an egg casserole, bagels, and drank mimosas. Christmas at my sister's this year was very nice. It was calm and the kids seemed to wait for each other to open gifts.
Here's Ken with our nephew Judah (8 months)

Ethan has been obsessed with Elmo lately and I'm not sure if my 3 1/2 year old niece knew it at the time but she decided to wrap up one of her own Elmo's and give it to Ethan to take home. The Elmo was probably one of his favorite gifts from the day.

My mom was happy to receive 3 coffee mugs with photos of her grandchildren on them.

We had a great morning together and soon headed off to our own houses for naps and met up later at my mom & dad's for dinner. More to come about that.

Just one more...

2012-01-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

A topic that often comes up in our house is whether we should have another baby. With Ethan having Cystic Fibrosis and the odds being that another baby would have a one in four chance of having it as well we are cautious.

It's all how you look at it. We could say there's a 25% chance that our next baby would have CF. But, you could also look at it like there's a 75% chance that we would have a healthy baby with no CF. The baby would still have a 2 in 4 chance of being a carrier and a 1 in 4 chance of having nothing.

Is that a risk worth taking? To us, it is. That might sound awful to some people. Why would anyone want there to be a risk that their child would be born with a chronic illness?

Here's how we look at it. We were blessed to have Ethan even with his CF. I wouldn't trade him for a healthy child. The CF does not define who he is. He is an amazing child who loves to sing, dance, play and most of all talk. We love him no matter what and his life is just as precious as any other child's.

We also really want to give him a sibling. I grew up with a sister and although we weren't that close until high school & college she is one of my best friends today. I want Ethan to know what it's like to have someone who gets him because he or she was there and grew up beside him. If our next child did have CF, they would have each other for support and even if our next child didn't have CF, they still would have each other.

I realize that our decision will be met with much criticism. All I ask is that if you don't agree with us that you keep your words to yourself. We have put a lot of thought and time into our decision. It's been a very difficult decision to make and we worry about the outcome all the time. We pray for a healthy baby but know that God might very well give us another baby with CF and if that's His plan then we're at peace with that.

We don't intend to have any more children after the second. We feel that that's the right decision for our family.

We value your support as our friends and family and hope that you will embrace our family and our decision.

Christmas with the Dean's

2012-01-07T20:19:00.001-08:00

This year we celebrated Christmas with Ken's family on Christmas Eve. Ken's parents, his brother and us met up at his Granner's house. We ate ham, potato salad, rolls and Ken's favorite homemade applesauce.
Here's Ethan eating his morning snack:

We decided to let Ethan start opening his gifts before his nap so we could open ours while he slept.
One of Ethan's gifts was a lawnmower which he immediately took off with and used all over the house. We had a hard time getting him back to open more presents after that.

My favorite gift of the day was getting my Kindle Fire! I've used it to read a few chapters of a book, but mostly have used it to play Angry Birds. I also loved the new desk that I got from Ken's parents. It fits perfectly between the pantry and the door to the garage. It's been so nice to not have to keep my laptop on the kitchen table.
Ken's favorite gifts of the day were a long sleeved 49er shirt and his workbench. It's not assembled yet, but hopefully it will be by tomorrow and installed in the next couple weeks.
Ethan's favorite toy was his lawnmower. He also received some books, movies and a parking garage to roll all his cars down. I was very happy for him to also get a picnic bench for our backyard.
We had a wonderful time and were excited to give Ken's parents and brother a custom calendar from Costco and his Granner a birdhouse.

I'll post more about the Schwiesow Christmas in the next couple days.

Our Christmas Tree

2011-12-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

This year we had to move our small couch out of the living room to make room for the tree. When Ethan woke up from his nap and saw a tree there instead of the couch he looked like he thought that was strange. He kept looking behind the tree as if the couch was back there somewhere.

Before:

After:

Ethan's reaction:

Ethan & Daddy enjoying playing some xbox or playstation 3:

Thanksgiving

2011-12-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

We spent Thanksgiving with Ken's family this year up in Cameron Park. It was a very relaxed day and we had a lot of fun. Ethan loved to run around their house and go up and down the one step going from the entryway to the living room. He mastered that skill that day and we no longer worry about him falling down that step.

Before we headed up the hill for Thanksgiving Ethan had a good time getting off and on the ottoman in the living room. This was the first time he'd figured out how to do that and he was very proud of himself. He does try to stand on it from time to time so we have to watch him, but he's mastered it.

Thanksgiving Day!

Posing with Grammy

Reading with Grammy

This year we are very thankful for Ethan's continued health. He has cultured anything that we need to be concerned about at clinics and he's stayed relatively healthy. He has a cold right now that is pretty nasty. We're hoping it is gone by the weekend. It's been 4 months since he was last sick!!!

November Pictures

2011-12-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

I've been so bad about blogging lately. Here are some photos we took in November:

Ethan still loves sucking his thumb.

My sister, Kristin and her youngest, Judah spent the day together a few weeks ago. Ethan loved playing with all of his old toys that are now Judah's.

More photos from Thanksgiving to come...

Halloween...better late than never

2011-11-18T07:45:00.000-08:00

Halloween this year was a lot of fun! Ethan dressed up as a pirate. We were able to get him to keep his hat on for awhile at home for some pictures with Nana & Papa. Ken's parents came by to see Ethan and to help us pass out candy. We trick or treated with our neighbors and Ethan held tightly onto his candy bucket.

And after a long night of trick or treating...

Halloween Photos

2011-10-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Fog Willow Pumpkin Farm

2011-10-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

In early October Ken, Ethan and I headed to Fog Willow Pumpkin Farm in Wilton, CA. The farm didn't look very big when we got there but as we walked farther back we saw that they had a lot of animals, some that you could go in and feed. All Ethan wanted to do was walk up and down a hill. He had fun and we had a little fun running after him. He wasn't really excited to see any of the animals he just wanted to be free to roam.

We spent about 90 minutes at the farm and picked out one large and one small pumpkin for our front porch. We will probably go back next year. It was fun to have the morning as a family and Ethan loved being outside!

19 month photos

2011-10-11T07:39:00.001-07:00

I'm a little late, but here's the photos we had taken at JcPenney's a few weeks ago:

Ethan is started to talk a bit more. He's still mostly talking in his own little language, but we're getting a few words in there sometimes. He likes to say "Hi" and "Bye" to everyone we meet over and over again. He likes to point to family photos and tell us who is in the pictures.
We just recently finally got him to eat food, instead of just drinking his calories. After months of problems, his dietician told us we were giving him too much milk. We already knew this but had been afraid to take it away for fear of him losing weight. We cut back his milk intake and within a day or two he was eating food. We're still working on getting him to eat fruits and vegetables, but we think we're on the right track. We have a weight check tomorrow so we'll see if it's helped at all.
Ethan has been having meltdowns and tantrums where he will go to the wall, floor or even garbage can and smack his head on it. We have to get between him and it to stop him from hurting himself. It's hard to know exactly what to do to make it stop, except make sure he doesn't get hurt. He won't let us hold him to comfort him and we can't let him roam around hitting stuff. It's so frustrating.
Ethan seems to be growing like a normal toddler. I can't believe he will be 2 in just over 4 months. The time has flown by.

Apple Hill 2011

2011-09-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

We went on our annual Apple Hill trip this past weekend. The weather was in the 80's and we left early. In fact, early enough that we had to wake Ethan to go.
First we headed to High Hill to look around the crafting booths and do some Christmas shopping. After we looked through all the crafts we took Ethan to play near the pond. He was very happy to get out of his stroller at that point.

Seeing an airplane with Daddy.

Next we drove to Boa Vista Orchards to buy some fresh fruit, veggies and apple cider. We also looked at the craft booths there. Ethan was getting tired at this point and wanted to go home.

The last stop on our trip was Abel's Acres. Ethan was a little bit happier, but still a grump.

Overall, it was a wonderful way to spend the morning. We will be back this time next year.

My talented kid

2011-09-28T15:16:00.001-07:00

What's wrong with this picture?

Reading Corner

2011-09-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

Our living room was getting cluttered with tons of books, so one Sunday morning Ken and I decided to head to IKEA to buy a bookcase. We were going to sand and paint an old bookcase that I had as a kid, but it turned out that was going to cost us the same amount of money. We ended up getting something that was wider and taller.

Now Ethan can sit down in his beanbag chair and read. Lately, he's been taking down almost all of the books and reading some. He's not quite liking cleaning up, but we'll work on that. He loves books! He likes to take them into the kitchen and he puts his favorites in his special drawer for later. It's funny because sometimes he will wait 2 days before going back to find his special book. I'm glad he's such a great reader. Now if we can only get him to talk a little bit more.

Clinic Update

2011-09-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

We went to clinic on Wednesday to see Ethan's team. Overall, it went very well. Ethan had only gained 1.4 oz in a month, but he still gained and held steady in weight so they were happy. He gained an inch in height! He's a little guy. He's in the 25th percentile for height for his age and 30th percentile for weight. Those are both still considered good since that follows his natural progression on the curve. I guess at some point his pediatrician was worried about the size of his head, but now it's slowed down.

We met with his pulmonologist and discussed how hard it has been to get Ethan's Creon (enzymes) into him at meals and snacks. For those you that don't know he needs the enzymes to help him digest his food. Without them or without enough of them he will lose weight and it will cause his stomach to hurt badly from have digestive problems. Dr. P said that we should work towards getting him to swallow the capsules by the time he's 2. That amazed me, since I can't imagine him doing that until he's closer to 3 or 4. We'll see in a few months if he's capable of it. For now, we continue to struggle with getting the enzymes down and getting him to eat more table food. He's a very picky eater and sometimes he won't even eat what we know he likes. The doctor says it's normal for kids his age to be picky. He basically drinks his calories. We know he's getting enough at this point because of the weight gain.

We went over his bloodwork. Thankfully he wasn't anemic. That came as a shock to me since he won't eat meat. I guess he's eating something that's helping with that. His Vitamin A levels were high so they will monitor that and retest in 6 months. Overall his blood tests looked good. They took a lot of blood for his yearly tests 3 weeks ago.

Dr. P decided to increase his enzymes to 17 Creon 6's instead of 14. The hope is that it will help him gain weight. We will be constantly be changing up his meds as time goes on to see how that helps him. For now, they have been increased and as long as we can get them down him we're hoping for weight gain over the next month. A weight check was ordered for October 12th.

We met with the new social worker for the CF Clinic. She was very nice. We don't have much of a need for a social worker at this time because emotionally, financially and physically we are all doing well. It's nice to know there's one there for us if we need something.

The dietician was out for the day so we didn't get to speak with her but it was okay since we didn't have any questions for her.

We're all set to go back for another CF Clinic in 3 months. Ethan's doing pretty well. He hasn't cultured pseudomonas which is great! We just got his cultures back from clinic. Everything looks good, but one thing that I'm not sure about. I'll update the blog when I know something.

It's been a long time

2011-09-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I haven't blogged about something in 2 weeks. Ethan did a lot of cute things in August and I never posted them so here's a recap.

Ethan checking out the tupperware situation. It looked like he couldn't find the one he was looking for.

Ethan & Daddy blowing up the swimming pool and enjoying playing in it.

Hanging out on his beanbag watching tv.

Enjoying some time with Nana.

SUPERMAN!!!

Wearing CF bracelets as earrings.

Ethan playing with his best bud, Grant.

We had a fun August. We celebrated my sister, Kristin's birthday and my niece Brianna's birthday. We spent time in the backyard playing in the pool and water table and took a lot of walks.

I'll try to be better about blogging as I take photos. I know it's not as much fun to read when it's a string of photos.

5 Little Monkeys

2011-08-31T21:23:00.000-07:00

Water Park

2011-08-09T20:41:00.001-07:00

A few days ago when my sister and here 4 kids were visiting at my parents house we headed over to the water park in our neighborhood. There's a part of the park where water comes out of the ground. Ethan was timid at first, but after being moved into the water a few times by Ken he liked it. He even stuck his hand into the stream of water. I think we'll be making a few more trips to the water park in the near future. The best part was that it really wore him out. He slept really well that night.

Gates coming down

2011-08-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, Ken and I took down the long gate that separated the kitchen and the family room. I started letting Ethan into the kitchen about a month before so we figured that if he was going to be in the kitchen we should just take down the annoying gate. Plus, Ethan was playing with it and we were concerned that he might break it. He is definitely enjoying having a bigger space to roam in and it's nice to have him in the kitchen when I need to be in there so I can keep a better eye on him.

Also, new this month...we moved the highchair out of the house and into the garage. Ethan now sits with us at the big table. He seems to eat a little bit better when he's eating at our table and we now have more room in the kitchen. I love seeing all the baby stuff come out of the house and head into the garage. Only problem is now our garage is a big mess.

17 months!!!

2011-07-27T20:20:00.001-07:00

Ethan is now 17 months old! I can't believe it. He's now been walking for about 2 months and getting closer to running. He talks ALL the time. He loves to sing "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep" every chance he gets. He also loves the ABC song, Itsy Bitsy Spider & Elmo's song. Elmo's song is just a little bit more annoying but he loves it. Ethan reads aloud to himself and turns the pages as if he's really reading. He also has started saying "Bye bye" instead of "Dye Dye". He says "Moo" and barks when he sees dogs.

Ethan now can say about 15-20 words depending on who you're talking to. If I didn't hear it, it didn't happen in my book. I keep a calendar on the wall in the kitchen to track his health, but also milestones.

In the last month he has given up bottles completely. We went from 2 bottles and then to 1 in just a few days. He drinks out of a straw cup and does very well. We waited a few more months than we originally wanted because he wasn't drinking enough from the straw cup. Now he drinks about 16-20oz a day!!!

We went in for a weight check a couple weeks ago and Ethan weighed 23 lbs 11 oz. He was down 4 oz from his last weight check a month prior. This was the first time since he was brand new that he'd lost weight. We were discouraged. We've been trying to "fatten him up" for the past month or so. His growth has slowed down. He basically hasn't gained any weight since he turned 1. We're being told to get more higher fat foods down him and increase his calories in whatever ways we can. Meanwhile we're dealing with a picky eater. It's all very frustrating.

We go in for his 18 month checkup on August 2nd so we'll see then if he's managed to gain weight back. Gosh, I hope he doesn't lose anymore.

Ethan took his very 1st camping trip with Grammy & Grandpa (A.K.A. Ken's parents) to Bodega Bay over the weekend. He was gone for 48 hours without us for the first time. He had a blast and probably didn't miss us as much as we missed him. Well as much as I missed him at least ;) We enjoyed a nice mini 24 hour vacation there ourselves when we came to pick him up.

Ethan is doing so many new things that I forget to write all of them down. He's growing too fast! I wish he'd slow down.

Fourth of July

2011-07-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

This year our street had the 2nd annual Fourth of July block party. The street was blocked off, we had badminton, games, food and probably 40-50 people in attendance.

Walking to Papa

Ethan playing with our neighbors dog, Molly.

Ethan & Daddy walking down the street.

Ethan & a neighbors little girls stroller. Ken didn't like that.

Ethan sitting with Papa during the fireworks. Ethan did fairly well with the loud noises and the fireworks didn't freak him out. An illegal firework went off right at the beginning of ours and that freaked him out.
Ethan took two naps that day and got up at 6pm to play, eat and have a bath before fireworks. He walked all around the block and loved being free to roam. He went to bed at 1015. The latest he's gone to bed since before he was 6 months old. I wish we had the photo of the whole party, but our friend hasn't posted it yet.

Water Fun

2011-07-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

For Ethan's birthday in February he received a water table from his Grandpa & Grammy. It stayed in the garage until May when it started actually feeling hot enough to need it. Now that Ethan has been walking for about a month he loves it since he can walk around the patio and then back to his water table.

A couple weeks ago Ethan's friend, Sean came over to play. They loved playing together in the water table. Every time that Sean would splash Ethan they both would start laughing. It was fun to watch and the boys were soaking wet by the end.

Our hope is to get his pool out in the next couple weeks and see how he reacts to that. I'll post pictures when we do.

Avila Beach Day 5 - Los Osos/ Baywood Park

2011-06-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, we spent some time in the pool. Ethan screamed so loud to get in the pool. I was embarrassed and couldn't get him to stop until we put him in the pool. I guess he remembered that he liked the pool from swimming earlier in the week. It was in the 60's the whole week but we still got in the pool. He loved swimming around in his floaty and with Ken.

Later that afternoon, Ken and I were ready to get out of the hotel and keep Ethan active so we headed to the Los Osos/ Baywood Park. I forgot my camera on this trip so I don't have photos of the sun setting. It was beautiful. We walked on the beach and Ken skipped rocks on the water. It was quite a drive from the freeway but worth it. Next time we go we'll have to spend more time there.

On Friday, we headed home about 11AM. My grandma was along for the ride, since we were taking her back to my uncle's house. Ethan enjoyed talking to her and playing games in the backseat. He also watched Finding Nemo. He played one of his favorite games. We say "UP" and he says "DOWN".

This vacation was so much fun! We were ready to come home though by the end of the week. Keeping a baby in a hotel room is hard. We were thankful that he slept incredibly well on this trip. He slept in until 9AM some mornings and took 2 naps most of the week totally about 4 hours of naps a day. I guess we wore him out.

Avila Beach Day 4 - Atascadero

2011-06-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

On Day 4, Wednesday we headed to Atascadero to visit the Atascadero Zoo. It only $5 to get in and was so much more interesting than the Sacramento Zoo. I think that we enjoyed it more because it was a new zoo to us. We saw wallabys, flamingos, a turtle family, lots of different kinds of monkeys and a tiger.

Wallabys

The family of turtles

My boys

Alpaca

After the zoo, we went over to the park & lake to play.

I forgot to show the photo of Ethan's "bedroom" during the trip.

We had a great day and we'll go back to that zoo next time we're down in that area.

Avila Beach Day 3 - Pismo Beach & Morro Bay

2011-06-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday morning we figured we needed to get out of the hotel during the morning or else we would go crazy held hostage with a 15 month old. We decided to head to Pismo Beach and to the Splash Cafe for some of their famous clam chowder.
We walked around, but there wasn't much that caught our attention, except a cute Oscar the Grouch t-shirt that we ended up buying for Ethan. I don't think we got any pictures of him in it unfortunately.

After enjoying our bread bowls of chowder we headed to Morro Bay to take a look at the shops and whatever else we could find. On the way there Ethan fell asleep. He was so tired that we couldn't wake him. We opened all the car doors and talked to him but he just kept sleeping.

Here's a video of him while he was sleeping:

Finally as we were driving away from the aquarium he woke up. We turned the car around and took him into the small aquarium. There were seals to feed and lots of fish to see. The seals were very loud which scared Ethan.

Not a great picture, but proof that I was there.

Later that evening my parents and grandma arrived at the hotel. Ethan had fun playing with Great-Grandma.

I've heard that Ethan looks a lot like I did at 15 months.
It was a long day driving around, but we had fun. Ethan slept in the car really well as you can see from the video.

Avila Beach Days 1 & 2

2011-06-12T11:42:00.001-07:00

We had such a great time on our vacation to Avila Beach, near San Luis Obispo, a week ago.
We took a 5 hour car ride and Ethan did very well considering we only stopped twice. He still wasn't walking so we stopped mainly to eat. He watched Finding Nemo for the 1st time in the backseat.
There was sunshine and wind when we got to the hotel, but it felt great outside. We were in pants and t-shirts all week even though it was in the 60's. We even braved the pool a couple times, which Ethan loved.
By the time we checked into the hotel we had to run out to buy groceries and get Ethan back to eat his dinner and get him to bed. His bedtime during our vacation was about 830 or 9pm, when it's usually 8pm. He had his own "bedroom", the bathroom. It was the quietest and darkest room to be in considering we were in a studio.

Ethan with his walker on our 1st day at Avila Beach.

Photos from our room:

We had a gorgeous view of the pool & the ocean. My dad set the whole trip up and made sure to get us the best view.
On the 2nd day of our trip we headed to Solvang to walk around and look through some shops. It took us 20 minutes to find a parking spot, we walked around for an hour, had some ice cream and left. It wasn't what we thought it would be.

Ethan was great in the car when we went on little trips throughout the week. He took short naps and jabbered to himself.
More posts to come.

And he's walking...

2011-06-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

The day finally came on Monday when Ethan decided it was time to get up and walk. He took a couple steps from Ken to me and was so proud of himself. I'm very excited that he's walking but it's also a reminder that he's one step closer to not being a baby anymore. A little bittersweet.
Last night we caught this video of him walking.

He usually is so happy when he walks but not last night. All he wanted was Daddy to hold him. We'll try to get a better video of him walking as he gets to be a better walker.

Now I can say that he walked about the same time as I did...15 months! It seemed like an eternity waiting for it, but now that it's here I guess we'll be doing a lot of running.

CF Great Strides Walk

2011-06-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

We didn't quite make it to our $5,000 goal, but we got pretty close with $4255. Ken was the #7 top walker and Team Ethan ranked #4 out of top teams!!! We are very proud of how much support our team got from our family and friends.
This year the new family I'm working for all came to walk, my neighbor and her family, my parents, my college friend and her friend, my niece, my brother in law and Ken's parents. I hope I didn't forget anyone. The walk was 3 miles to places around the State Capitol and took a little over an hour.

Thanks again to everyone who participated and to everyone who donated. The Sacramento Chapter raised over $144,000 this year!

If you give a boy a box...

2011-06-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

...he'll probably play with it for hours.

Mother's Day

2011-06-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

I know I'm almost a month late, but I was waiting for some extra photos to get to me.
For Mother's Day this year with my family we celebrated with my parents and my sister's family. We were excited to have a new family member at the party, baby Judah, my newest nephew.
The guys planned the whole thing. We ate tri tip and burgers and had a really good dessert, a chocolate mint cake. Everyone passed around Judah, my nieces played upstairs and Ethan tried to get into whatever he could downstairs. He loves my parents house since they only have a gate at the end of the stairs. He can roam freely, which he doesn't get to do at home.

Ken with baby Judah.

Nana & Ethan

We had a great time hanging out with the Schwiesow's. What a busy May we had. More posts to come. I need to get caught up.

A year ago today...

2011-05-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

...we were being released from the hospital after a 5 day stay. Ethan had brochialitis. It was Mother's Day and we spent most of the day in the hospital. Thankfully we were released about 2pm and able to spent the afternoon with my family. What a memory for my 1st Mother's Day.
Today we are thankful that we have made it a year without any hospitalizations!

Judah's Arrival

2011-04-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

A few days ago my sister, Kristin and her husband welcomed Judah Robert. He was 7 lbs 14oz and 20 inches long. My sister was in labor for 6 hours and 2 of those hours were spent at the hospital. She went from 5 to 10cm in 20 minutes and in 2 pushes he was here. He came so fast that she did it without an epidural.
Our family is especially excited because Judah and Ethan are 14 months apart. We can just imagine what it will be like in a year or two when the boys can play together.

Easter Fun

2011-04-26T11:56:00.001-07:00

This year for Easter we headed up to Ken's parents house for dinner. Since Ethan's the only grandchild and he's still so little we didn't have an Easter Egg hunt this year. Maybe next year when he's walking and can hold his own basket.
Here's Ethan with his football Easter basket:

Ethan with his Uncle Tim:

We had a wonderful ham dinner. Ethan had fun trying to get into everything. He barked at the dogs and ate some dessert. He loves ice cream!
Earlier in the week my mom gave him the cutest stuffed bunnies for Easter. I don't have a picture but Ethan just loves to play with them.
We had a great Easter! We look forward to next year when we can watch Ethan hunt for eggs with his 4 cousins.

A trip to the Hagan Park

2011-04-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Ken decided that he wanted to take Ethan to Hagan Park to feed the ducks and geese. He went last summer when he was about 6 months old. We had been saving heels of bread for the ducks since then.

Getting ready

I love this picture of the two of them.

Ethan with his bread. Thankfully he didn't try to eat it. He also didn't try to feed any ducks or geese which was a good thing since geese are mean.
We had a nice afternoon feeding them and looking at farm animals through a gate. We saw a donkey, sheep, goat, chickens, geese, and roosters. Ethan looked like he enjoyed it.
It was a very nice family outing and if it hadn't gotten cold I think we would have walked around longer. I know Ken wanted to stay longer.

Clinic Update

2011-04-20T16:49:00.001-07:00

On April 6th, Ethan and I headed to our clinic appointment with Ken's mom, Grammy, as well. Ethan weighed 22 lbs 7oz, which was less than he had weighed at his 1 year appointment 6 weeks earlier. He was at 23 lbs 4 oz then. He had been sick for the last week, but a pound is a lot. In the pulmonology department they don't like him to go below the 50th percentile for ratio of weight to height. He fell just below because of the weight loss.
He had sputum test and everything came out normal. It even showed that something that he had been growing in his lungs had completely gone away. Must have been the antibiotics over Christmastime that did it.
We met with Ethan's dietician and she told us to start trying to fatten him up again. We were given a list of things to add to his food. For example, butter, jello, Nutella, mayonaise, etc. He has to gain back an entire pound and we're hoping he does it before the beginning of May when he has a weight check.
His pulmonologist put him on an antibiotic for 10 days because of his wet cough. His lungs were clear, his ears were clear, and there were no other problems.
We are set to go back into clinic in June maybe July if his weight goes up and he doesn't have any other problems.
Right now, we are in week 3 of sickness. He has had the same wet cough since March 31st. We are all ready to be done with the nebulizers that we're doing 3x a day, plus his vest and an albuterol puffer 3x a day as well. Ken and I try to just do what has to be done, but it's hard when it goes on and on. We know that eventually this will be an all the time reality. Most likely Ethan will be on more meds and nebulizers as he grows which will take up more time. I'm mad that we have to do them in the first place. Please just let the poor guy catch a break and we well again.
Throughout all of this we've been dealing with pink eye. Ethan got it on March 31st and a week later I caught it. He was treated and while on his antibiotic for his wet cough it went away. As soon as the antibiotics were done on Saturday it came back. So now he's on a much stronger eye drop. I'm ready for April to be over. Bring on May!

Sickness go away!

2011-04-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

Ethan's sick with his 3rd cold for the season. We have been lucky that it's only been 3x since October. We always worry that a cold could turn into something worse, but also try to remain hopeful that it won't.

Right now, he has a wet cough, congestion and a runny nose. He's not drinking as much as he should and his eating is okay, but not great. I am more concerned than I was yesterday, but still trying to take it a day at a time. I need to make a call tomorrow to the pediatric pulmonary nurse to give her an update on him.

In the meantime, we have been told to do Hypersal 2x a day and Pulmozyme 1x a day through his nebulizer. We also are being told to do his vest 3-4x a day. It makes it difficult to do anything but just stay home, but we probably shouldn't go anywhere anyways. Ethan is grouchy and cries to held. Not typical of Ethan at all. He's usually fairly happy most of the time (unless you tell him no or take something away).

It's so sad to listen to him on the baby monitor coughing away and wincing right after. His throat must be hurting him. His voice is raspy.

Please God, let him get better.

13 months old

2011-03-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Ethan turned 13 months old. It's hard to believe that this time last year I was taking care of a one month old.

Ethan can do so many things now. He recently learned to say the word "no" along with his usual mama and dada. He also babbles loudly. I'm sure our neighbors can hear him down the block. If one of us is in another room and he wants us he talks very loudly until we come back to talk to him.

We will know how much he weighs at his next clinic appointment in April, but we're thinking that he's over 23 lbs by now. He loves to play with balls and can throw the ball backwards and forwards. He likes to roll the ball to Daddy. We recently took a toy out from Christmas that has a ball blower and the balls shoot out all over the room. He loves to push the button and see all the balls fly. Last night we turned it off and it was pretty funny to watch him continue to hit the button, although a little sad too. He also loves to play in his own little tunnel from Christmas.

He has picked up on a few baby signs as well. He says "more" in sign language and "all done". Some of the time we have to ask him if he wants more and do the sign, but more and more he's been doing it on his own. He seems to be understanding and watching us do everything.

He loves to read and flip through pages of books on his own. He's a very happy baby, but also a little emotional and sensitive. For a long time he would cry if someone sneezed or yawned or if it got too loud. He is starting to be less emotional, but the sneezing still gets him.

He also has started throwing tantrums. Screaming tantrums. He tends to do this when we go to change him, say no, or when we take something away. It usually ends as quickly as it started, but also begins and ends with a Mariah Carey kind of scream.

He really is a great kid to be around most of the time. I wish other people could experience him during the times that I have him to myself. He constantly amazes me with things that he can do.

We'll see how much more he can do in another month. Maybe he will get up and walk!

Happy Little Boy

2011-03-22T16:08:00.000-07:00

I just realized today that it's been awhile since I've posted. We haven't had too much going on lately to report so I guess that's my excuse.
Here are some pictures of Ethan taking all of his toys out of a bin in the living room. I love this picture because it shows what a little boy he is becoming. His big mischievous smile.

This is him doing his cheeseball smile. He didn't just blink that's what it looks like.

Ken decided to play the piano a few nights ago and of course Ethan had to play too. So as Ken played "As the Deer", Ethan played his own little tune.

What a talker!

2011-03-08T12:15:00.000-08:00

Ethan has always been a very vocal baby. When he was a couple months old he would jabber and makes lots of noises. When he was about 6 months old he starting making raspberry sounds and a few months ago started running his hand along his lips to make sounds. Now he's talking up a storm. I wish I knew what he was saying, but he seems to be very opinionated.
We took this video after my in laws left our house this weekend. They said that they could hear him from the driveway. He kept talking and waving bye bye for at least 5 minutes after they left.
He now does this whenever we leave the house. I think it's his way of saying "Let me out. I'm free!!!

Up High, Down Low

2011-03-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

Lately, Ethan has been copying Ken and me. One day a couple weeks ago I stretched my arms into the air and he did it to. That's when we started the up high, down low game. He loves it and usually likes to be the leader. So, now every time I stretch he thinks we're playing his game.

Let's Party!

2011-02-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

Ethan's 1st birthday party was this weekend. We had family & friends come to celebrate with us. Ethan was so overwhelmed by all the people around him that he cried for most of his party. At one point, he had to go upstairs to calm down and rest with my aunt. 15 minutes later he was ready for some cake.

Nana & Ethan

Ethan & Mom

Grandpa & Great-Granner

Auntie Kristin & Nana

Even though it was cold and gloomy outside we still had a wonderful time!

Happy 1st Birthday, Ethan!

2011-02-20T10:45:00.001-08:00

On Friday, February 18th at 1159pm Ethan turned 1 year old. I still can't believe it. He's still just a baby in my eyes.
On Friday night to celebrate Ethan's 1st birthday we gave Ethan his first bite of cake. He wasn't too thrilled with the cake. It did look like he liked the frosting if you put it in his mouth.

These the things that Ethan can do at 1 year old. Some he's been able to do for several months but now he's mastered them:
*Rolling all directions with a purpose to get something
*Pulling up on furniture
*Cruises on the furniture. He's still working on this one.
*Crawling
*Recognizes his name & responds with a smile
*Understands what no means (and promptly throws a fit!)
*Waves Bye Bye without being prompted.
*Eats Grilled Cheese & Quesadilla in tiny bits
*Drinks whole milk (still from a bottle for now)
*His vocabulary is Mama, Dada, Nana, Baba, and lots of gibber jabber. He's talks a lot (just like his Mommy ;)

More pictures to come from the party in my next post.

And he's off...

2011-02-15T12:29:00.001-08:00

Ethan is finally crawling. He had me a little worried there for a bit, but before his 1st birthday he finally started crawling. Here's the proof.

Playgroup

2011-02-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

Over the summer a friend of mine from high school named Melissa and I started hanging out. Her son was about 10 months old at the time. After our first get together we decided to start meeting once a week for a play date. We joked that we were a playgroup, even though we weren't really "group".

During this time, I became friends with my neighbor 3 doors down who also had a 10 month old at the time. We started walking together every morning.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. Melissa and I started talking about who else we could invite to our "playgroup". We really wanted it to grow so we'd have more friends to talk to and more kids for our boys to play with. The next week I invited Katie, her son, Grant and new baby, Emily to play with us. We had a great time. Here are the pictures from our 1st official playgroup.

Max & Ethan (almost 1!)

Melissa's little boy, Max (16 months, now 17 months)

Katie's son, Grant (16 months)

The only one of all 3 boys.

Ethan playing in his new tunnel from Mom & Dad.

Ethan reading with Melissa.

The next week we planned to go to Katie's house since she had more space than me. She ended up inviting one friend with a 2 yr old and an almost 1 yr old and a friend with a 16 or 17 mos old. Melissa invited one friend from Gymboree and her daughter who was 18 mos. In the end, there were 6 moms and 8 kids. Most of the kids were between 16 and 18 month old. We had so much fun and it wasn't really as crazy as I thought it would be. The kids got along really well.

We have talked about starting a weekly playgroup on Wednesdays. It was so nice to talk to all these moms. It was great to get some ideas from other moms and to just get out of the house and have someone to talk to. It's hard being home all day with no one but the baby to talk to.

I'll update about the playgroup as time goes on. I think it's going to be a great playgroup especially as it gets nicer outside. We're already planning trips to the Zoo & the Railroad Museum. It's a great to be apart of something.

Ethan's Haircut Video

2011-02-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Ethan's 1st Haircut

2011-02-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

Today Ethan had his very first haircut. I had Tina, who cuts my hair, cut his hair. He better than I expected. He kept moving his head around and shaking it, but that was to be expected. I'm really happy with how it turned out. Tina did a great job!

He looks like a little man now. It makes me a little sad because he's getting so big. I can't believe he will be 1 in just two more weeks. Wow!

Before Photos:

After Photos:

Ethan's new wagon

2011-01-20T16:40:00.001-08:00

For Christmas Ethan received a wagon from his Great-Granner. He loves it. I thought he might be too young for it right now, but I was wrong. He bends over to get leaves out of the bottom of it and can get right back up again. What a big boy! The pictures are of Ethan with his buddy, Grant, on our walk today.

Development

2011-01-20T15:17:00.000-08:00

I try not worry about Ethan's development as much as I did before. He is progressing, just not as fast as he's "supposed" to. I have had to remind myself that what the books say and what the doctor measure by are only averages. However, I do hope that he will crawl before he turns 1.
Because of his CF, I try to remind myself that he's gone through a lot more than most kids his age. He's had nebulizer treatments, vest treatments, special supplements, sputum testing (basically making him gag), antibiotics, and he's been in the hospital twice in the last year.
I have realized that as much as I want him to crawl, I can't make him crawl. He has to want it himself. He just seems to not care and that's okay with me. I don't want to be one of those parents that pushes their kid too hard, especially since there's nothing I can do. I encourage him to move and try not to pick him up as much. Ultimately, he will do it in his own timing. For now, he's pulling himself up on his play table and the gate and he scoots backwards all over the room. He's moving and that's what's important. I've learned that I need to stop comparing my kid to everyone else's. He's not someone else's kid and although I would love to brag that he's doing everything on time or early, that's not reality for him. I'm so proud of what he does do.
I'm sorry if I come across defensive. I have felt so much pressure from well meaning people even when they don't mean to come across that way. It's the shaking of their heads and the silence when they hear he's not crawling that makes me feel like I'm under a microscope or being judged. It's as if they are saying "Ohhhhh". Now that I've shared I feel a lot better.

To cut or not to cut...

2011-01-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to figure out whether I should cut Ethan's hair before or after his 1st birthday. I asked friends on facebook and most people said to cut it or to make his hair into a mohawk. He sported the mohawk at around 6 months old ;) I've decided that I'm going to get his hair trimmed when I get my haircut in 2 weeks. I'm excited to see how it turns out. I'm also sad that his baby hair will be gone.

Here's pictures of his long hair and mohawk:

His look after a nap.

I still can't believe he's going to be 1 in a month. It went by way too quickly. I feel like he just was born yesterday. I always felt like the 1st birthday was more of a celebration for parents than for the kid. We made it through a year of parenting! Go us! When he turns 1 I think I'll cry, but mostly those tears will be tears of happiness looking forward to the next year. He won't always be a baby and that's hard to imagine, but he'll always be mine.

Organizing the mass of toys

2011-01-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

After Christmas I was ready to make the living room more livable. Mostly for me and Ken. Ethan's toys had taken over and they were all over the floor. I had a few small bins holding the smaller things, but the bigger items had nowhere to go. I decided to fill a 66 quart bin with toys to rotate out and we bought a cubbie bookcase from IKEA for the rest. It was a great $70 investment. I love it because as he gets older he will be able to reach all of his toys. This could backfire on me when I'm trying to keep the room clean, but in general I think it will be good.

Ethan has been working on getting his two top teeth. One has broken through and the other will surely come soon. Ethan's been waking once a night for the last 5 days. After being used to sleeping all night for the last 5 months it is really hard to get up. When he does start crying, Ken or I go in and rock him for a few minutes then place him back in his crib awake and he'll go back to sleep. I am guessing that it's his teeth that are waking him. He hasn't needed any Motrin to help him.

Tonight, my parents are taking Ethan overnight. I'm a little anxious, mostly for me, not for him. He will have a blast with Nana & Papa. I'm mostly anxious because there's so much to remember with his medications and all. But, I'm sure, my parent s will do great.

Ken and I are headed to Ruth Chris for dinner and a movie after. I will be staying up past 9pm for the first time in months. I got in the habit when Ethan was small. It will be great to sleep in, if I can make myself.

Clinic Appointment Update

2011-01-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday Ethan, my mother in law and I headed off to Roseville for our quarterly clinic appointment. I was so thankful to have help during our 2 hour appointment. Ethan was so squirmy during his Synagis appointment the day earlier that I couldn't even imagine how it would have gone if I hadn't had someone else there to hand him off to.

Ethan weighed in at 21 lbs 7 oz and is 28 inches long. His length to weight ratio is a little off because he's considered short for his weight. For a CF kid he is beyond what the doctors would expect and more. They have joked that maybe he's not pancreatic insufficient, which we know from testing that he is.

We met with his pulmonologist, Dr. Perez. Since Ethan had a wet cough last Friday we were doing some nebulizer treatments. We had him doing Albuterol and Hypertonic Saline. Both of those combined takes 40 minutes. After nebulizers we start his VEST treatment for 15 minutes. We did that three times a day.

Thankfully, our doctor stopped the Albuterol and Hypertonic Saline because Ethan's lungs were clear. They have decided to start Pulmozyme as a preventative nebulizer because he has already been sick twice this winter. We are all striving for a hospital free winter. The Pulmozyme only takes 15 minutes once a day and we'll continue his VEST for 15 minutes twice a day.

Ethan finally is big enough for an actual vest. We have had him in a wrap for the last 8 months. We are grateful for the new vest because he was starting to rip the velcro off the wrap during treatments. Here is the photo of his new vest:

We also were given a puffer for the Albuterol which will cut the time from 15 minutes to 3 minutes. I'll take pictures of that when we need it. For now, it will only be used if he is sick.

We are very thankful that his last sickness only lasted 4 or 5 days. He is back to normal now, being his happy self again.

Crawling Update

2011-01-02T20:23:00.000-08:00

He's getting closer to crawling!!! Now Ethan can pull himself to his knees wherever he is. He used to only be able to do this when he was next to the couch or the gate. As strange as it sounds he finally rolled from his back to his belly a few days ago. Now if he's on his back within seconds he's back to his belly.
Over the weekend Ethan got on all fours and starting rocking some. He seems to be liking being on his belly more than before. He still would rather be sitting than to be on his belly.
A few mornings ago Ken's mom found him on his belly in the morning which never happens and now he has started rolling to his stomach when it's time to go to bed and screams until he figures out how to roll himself back over. He seems to have forgotten how to roll the other way now. I'm trying to let him be and watch him as he does new things everyday.
He also loves to stand. He's getting more confident and even can hold onto the back of the couch with some leverage on the couch for a few seconds at a time. His legs are very strong. He just needs to figure out how to balance. When you go to sit him down he keeps his legs flat so you can't put him down. His feet are also now moving as we walk around the room. It's exciting to watch the little changes he makes each day. We may be seeing him walk before he crawls, but I really hope he crawls first.
We go in on Tuesday for his next Synagis shot and Wednesday for clinic with his team. He started having a wet cough and a little bit of wheezing on Friday so we started nebulizers in hopes that it will go away on its own. It appears to be working. He doesn't look sick at all. He just has a nasty cough. More of an update after clinic. I'm guessing he'll be closer to 23 lbs at clinic. A month ago he was 21 lbs 11.5oz.

Christmas

2011-01-02T11:14:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year we spent Christmas Eve day at home. Ken had to work for most of the day and I had the day off with Ethan. We went to the Christmas Eve service that night and Ethan behaved better than I expected. He did screech once but who wouldn't want to check out the acoustics ;)

Christmas morning Ken and I decided that we would spent the first part of the morning just the three of us. We opened up all 3 gifts we and Santa had given Ethan. From Santa Ethan got a tunnel and tent to play in. We figure we'll keep that in it's box until he's crawling (more of an update on that later).

Ethan seemed to be more into the tissue paper and the boxes which we expected. I still wanted to get him gifts though. He also received pj's and a little dog that he can pull behind him once he starts walking.

Ken received Superman pajama bottoms, a new 49er shirt and a 49er trivia calendar.

Ken surprised me with a massage. For my birthday he got me a facial at my favorite place so I'll be feeling very pampered in January.

After having a nice quiet Christmas in the early morning (about 8am) we headed over to my sister's for our annual brunch and opening presents.

We had a great time and brunch was french toast bake, bagels and an egg dish. All were yummy!!!

The day after Christmas we headed to Ken's Granner's house for Christmas with them. We started with presents since we knew Ethan would need a nap soon.

Ethan with Grandpa & the present Grandpa specially picked out for him. A ride on train that he can separate and push too!

Ethan & Elf Grammy

Ethan received a Strawberry Shortcake book from Uncle Tim. Ken was not very pleased.

Ethan with his new Superman & Batman pj's.
We had a terrific Christmas this year! Thank you everyone who made it so wonderful. Ethan's 1st Christmas was a success. I look forward to next year when he is a little more into opening presents. We didn't manage to get a Christmas photo of all of us this year.

Schwiesow Family Photos

2010-12-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

In October we had family photos with my family. My family had their photos taken at William Land Park in Sacramento.
Take a look.

Crawling...or not

2010-12-21T10:43:00.000-08:00

For those of you moms out there whose kids did things early or right on time please try to understand how it feels when you're kid does some things late.
Ethan sat up on time, rolled over on time, and started babbling early. He sat up at 6 1/2 months and sat up really well at 8 months. He's been scooting backwards for the last 3 weeks (when he was 9 months). He just doesn't seem to care to crawl. He's 10 months old and I have begun to worry. The books say that it's not uncommon for kids to just get up and walk and skip crawling all together or for them to crawl later than 10 months old. I feel like I'm placing so much expectation on Ethan to keep up with my friends kids. I keep forgetting that he's an individual and the books are just averages. You always want your kid to be more than average. I have friends whose kids crawled at 6 1/2 months or walked at 10 months and my kid just doesn't care to do it.
I wonder how I can let it go when in the back of my mind I'm worried that he'll never do it. But, then I remember that there was a time that I didn't think he's ever roll over, or sit up, etc. He did all of them and he did them in his own timing. I've got to just let go and let him be Ethan.

Nana & Papa

2010-11-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

Ethan loves his Nana & Papa. We're lucky to live only 3 blocks away from my parents. The park is right across the street from their house. Lately, we've been walking over to the park and putting Ethan in the swings. Don't even get me started on how disgusting and germy those must be. After disinfecting the swings, my parents usually come over to play.

Here's Nana with Ethan & Nana with Ethan & Ella playing on Thanksgiving.

Ethan loves them both! I can tell that because we live so close and my parents are so involved in Ethan life that they will always be very special to him.

We're sick!!!

2010-11-30T10:27:00.000-08:00

About a week ago Ethan woke up around 10pm, which he rarely does, crying. He was fussy for about an hour and finally calmed down around 11pm. The next morning I noticed he was congested. Ugh, a cold! For the last week he has been sick. We've used a ton of Boogie Wipes, which I thought I'd never buy, but they work. Now we have been told by the Pulmonologist office to begin nebulizers and to add a vest treatment to the middle of the day. He is not weezing or having a hard time breathing. He is his normal cheery self and is eating like usual (a lot!). He's just sick!
On Thanksgiving day he started to have a wet cough so that's what made me think to call the nurse on Monday to see about starting nebs. We now are doing nebulizers 2x a day for a total of 45 minutes at a time and his vest treatments 3x a day for 15 minutes at a time. I realize that in the CF world spending 2 hours and 15 minutes a day doing treatments is nothing so I should be grateful. However, it still sucks! Ethan hates the nebs. He won't stay still for long enough and the only thing that really works is turning on Baby Mozart. He has to watch it over and over again because that's the only baby video we have. I'm looking into finding another show on Netflix streaming so I don't lose my mind watching Baby Einstein.
Luckily the nebulizer treatments will be over when his cold is gone. He's had it for 1 week now and the nurse says that most colds last 10-14 days. If it's not gone by then we'll most likely have to go in and be seen by one of the pulmonologists. I don't foresee that happening, but it could. For now, we're doing as the doctor orders.

Tree Lighting & Decorations

2010-11-30T10:00:00.000-08:00

On Sunday my parents, sister & her kids and us all went to the Christmas tree lighting near our house. There were train rides, hay rides, a ferris wheel, Santa, singing, a magician & free hot chocolate. We were there for a little over an hour. It was 48 degrees outside when we walked over at 430pm and by 5pm it was in the low 40's. We are lucky that we bundled Ethan in a snow suit that a friend had given me. I thought I'd never use it. Leave it to a Californian to use a snow suit when it's only 40 degrees outside ;)

It even "snowed" foamy bubbles.

Ethan & Santa

We also did some decorating this weekend too. We put up our Christmas tree and all of the ornaments we could find. The tree looks great! This year was the first year we bought stockings. It was our one buy for Christmas this year. We're gradually getting the things we need, but trying not to break the bank in the process.

I'll have to add the photos of our stockings and more of the tree once I get more off the camera. Merry Christmas!

9 months old!

2010-11-18T15:03:00.000-08:00

Today Ethan is 9 months old! I can't believe he's already 9 months. The older he gets the more we enjoy him. He's a social baby and loves everyone. He hasn't had any problems with stranger anxiety or wanting to just be with me or Ken. He does love his daddy. He has to know where Ken is at all times. I can just see what it will be like as Ethan starts walking. I'm sure he'll follow Ken and Ken's dad everywhere.
In the day Ethan has started to crawl backwards and today got up on all 4's for about 10 seconds. I'm glad to see that he's almost crawling although I know as soon as he's mobile he will be everywhere.
Here are some pictures from the last month.

Getting ready for the niner game to start.

Sitting up really well.

Trying on Papa's glasses

Mommy & Ethan at the zoo with friends.

Over the past month Ethan has begun to talk even more. He's always been a talker, but now he's talking more. He loves to say "Dadadadadadada" over and over again. It's his favorite word. He doesn't understand that Ken is Dada, but I think Ken still loves to hear it.
Ethan learned how to sit up at about 7 1/2 months, but now is an expert. He hardly ever falls over and even does is vest treatment sitting up without falling over. When he leans over to grab a toy he sometimes falls onto his stomach and is happy to be there. He can reach farther than I think his arms to be able to go.
He loves to eat cheerios and bites of apples. We're about to start giving him more table foods like tofu, slices of pears, cheese, and carrots. He wasn't a fan of the egg yolk last time I tried it. He's a great eater! He also loves music which is no surprise.
A few weeks ago I went back to work part time and his Grammy, Ken's mom, has been watching him. He seems to be adjusting really well. I did notice at first that he was grumpy when I got home and thought that was pay back for being gone, but now I think he was just grumpy. I wonder if I never noticed the grumpiness at the end of the day because I had all day with him. Hmmm...
Anyways, he's growing and learning new things everyday. He's 21 lbs and about to be put into the convertible carseat still rear facing (just have to figure out how to fit it in my tiny car).

Checking out his new carseat.

Losing the baby weight

2010-11-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have begun to finally start to lose the baby weight. It took me 9 months to pack it on and it's taken me 9 months to lose only the initial 28 lbs. I have gained 5 lbs back and I know that if I don't do something about it I will continue to gain. I'm sick of living in this fat body. Although, I know many people would say that I'm not fat. I just don't feel good about myself at all. I need to lose 20 lbs to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight and hopefully size ;)
To start my journey I decided to join a gym so I could use the elliptical. The elliptical usually is the one thing that kick starts losing weight. Ken joined with me which made me feel a lot better. Having someone to lose weight with especially a spouse makes it so much easier. Well, we both joined and then Ken decided to use my parents treadmill so he canceled his membership. I had the best of intentions last week to start going to the gym, but I made every excuse in the book.
My plan was to go Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after work. It's hard to even think that I would be able to work out after almost 10 hours of work when all I want to do is go home to my baby. Anyways, I have now cancelled my membership in hopes of using my parents treadmill.
So, now I'm left with working out on my parents treadmill on my days off when my dad can watch Ethan. I only need 30 minutes. I'm on my way to eating better as well. It sounds stupid but yesterday I ate really well, except for the brownies at work. I had to try just one :0
Here I go. In a few weeks I hope to lose 5 lbs and actually fit into my current jeans. By Christmas I hope to lose 10 lbs total. Here I go...

Events in October

2010-11-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

In October we went to the Jelly Belly factory and the pumpkin patch as a family.
Here are the photos from Goblin Gardens:

Then we finally made it to the Jelly Belly factory. We've both lived within an hour of the Jelly Belly factory our whole lives and never made it there. It was a wonderful day!

First Halloween

2010-11-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

With Nana the fortune teller

Ethan had a great first Halloween. He was chicken, not a duck! My mom kept saying he was a duck, but the costume said chicken on the tag. I don't know any ducks with a sharp beak, do you?

The Giants also won that night and went on to win the World Series the next night. Ethan was almost as excited as Ken!!! Go Giants!

Here we go again...

2010-11-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

Today Ethan and I headed to Kaiser for his first Synagis shot of the season, well he had two shots of it because he's such a big boy. He weighed in at 21 lbs 1 oz!!! The nurse said he is not your typical CF baby. He's huge! She said that compared to when he was supposed to come in March for a shot, she expected him to be small, but was pleasantly surprised that he is doing so well. She mentioned something about how he might have mild CF. According to our doctors CF is a luck of the draw thing. The more bacterial infections you have the worse your lung function is. It's not about having a mild form of it. I tend to lean towards what our doctors say and not the nurses giving the shots.
Anyways, Ethan got his shot(s) and we got another lecture on where to allow Ethan to go. Here is my list and instructions:

KEEP YOUR BABY HOME (until the end of May)
*Avoid airline travel
*Avoid large holiday gatherings
*No daycare, no church nurseries, etc.
*No ear piercing or studio photos
*Avoid malls, shopping centers, movie theaters, etc
*Keep sick people away from your baby
*Keep your baby covered, in the stroller or car seat, with a blanket when you need to bring them to Kaiser or other public areas.

The nurse also told us we basically can't go to Thanksgiving unless we don't bring Ethan. Right, like we're going to do that. She makes a good point that children between the ages of 2 and 5 are germ magnets. My niece is two. How am I supposed to keep Ethan away from her until May? She loves him and he loves her. Ken and I are upset again by the drastic measures we are supposed to go to keep him healthy. It seems like an impossible thing to do or at least that's what the list leaves me feeling like. As I said in my prior post, we'll keep him out as much as we can but we can't live in a bubble.
Every four weeks we'll be doing this all over again through April...we'll see how that goes.

Living in a bubble

2010-10-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received a call from the nurse who gives the Synagis injections for RSV. We have to go every 28 days until April to help lower his chances of getting RSV this winter. She went on to tell us that we were to keep him out of grocery stores, restaurants, malls, and basically all public places for the winter. She also asked what I did for a living. When I told her I was going to be starting a new nanny position she told me "if you work with kids your son will get RSV". Nice, thanks for making me feel guilty for trying to put food on the table for my family. How the heck am I supposed to do that?
Our doctors told us back in March that we can't live in a bubble and who can stay inside all day long. We are "allowed" to go for walks.
I'm so frustrated. As if the pressure to keep him well wasn't enough now I have been made to feel guilty if I choose to take my kid in public. I want to protect him but when does living a normal life become important too? I want him to have a normal childhood not be shut up inside all the time. I wonder what I'll be expected to do when he wants to go to AWANA at church at 3 years old or preschool or being in Sunday School every Sunday. I want him to know God and be around people who will be his extended family. I want him to have friends. It's bad enough he can't interact with other kids who have CF. Now, he's expected to be alone too.
I just can't do it. We'll try our best to keep him out of those public places this winter, but I will not be forced to stay inside all day and not live our lives. I try to stay away from sick people, especially sick kids and I'll have to be very careful at work, change my clothes immediately before touching him and continually wash my hands at work to help keep from taking germs home to him. I would have to take these precautions even if I was working in an office. I will not be made to feel guilty.
I am his mother. I can make good decisions for him.

The job hunt continues...

2010-10-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

Well, the job that I thought I had fell through. One day we were getting everything set up for me to start today and the next she chickened out. I was really angry on Friday when she emailed me to tell me she was hiring another nanny. The other nanny was cheaper than me and could give her the flexibility that she needed. We had talked on Thursday and I had assured her that I could give her flexibility, but I guess she didn't believe me. I think it came down to the money.
Oh well, no job, so the search continues. I don't care if it's a nanny position or an office job I just need a job by November 1st. I am on Paid Family Leave until the end of the month so for now we have enough money. We are anxious about using our savings to float us. We are lucky that we have savings to use, but we worry that it will take a long time to find a job and we'll eat through our savings in the process.
The good thing about this extra time is that I'm home with Ethan a little longer. I was having a very hard time thinking of leaving him and now that I'm home a bit longer I can enjoy being home for awhile longer. I guess I'm lucky that I've had 7 1/2 months at home with him and am still getting paid.
Ethan is almost 8 months old and weighs around 19 lbs. We go in to see the pulmonologist tomorrow for a weight check and for him to check to see how Ethan's doing overall. I think it will be a fairly routine appointment. Oh, and Ethan has gotten his 2nd tooth!

Apple Hill

2010-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago, Ken and I took Ethan to Apple Hill for the first time. We ended up only making it to High Hill and were only there for 90 minutes but we had fun. Ethan watched the ducks in the pond and people watched as we walked through all the vendors booths. We bought a few things including 2 apple pies and some cider for Ken. Overall, it was a great day. I'm looking forward to next year when we can stay longer and take a train ride with Ethan. We drove all around Apple Hill checking out what farms we want to take Ethan to next year to pick pumpkins. I'm sure it will be a lot more fun next year.

Another case of Mom Guilt

2010-10-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

I've come down with another case of mom guilt. All of you moms know what I'm talking about. We want to do everything right and beat ourselves up when we feel like we fall short.
Lately, it's been over food. Before Ethan was born I had every intention of making organic baby food. I started out making it, but after a few times I got lazy. It's not even that it's difficult because it's not. I am just plain lazy. I still buy mostly organic baby food, but it's expensive and I can't help but feel like I should have done more. I think mostly I feel like other moms might be judging me even if they aren't. When I was a kid my mom gave me baby food that wasn't organic and I turned out okay.
Lately, I've realized that every mom has something that they feel guilt over and we tend to compare ourselves to other moms. Whether it's comparing because we know our kids are doing something faster than others, or it's comparing because we want to make sure that our kids are not behind. Logically I know that every kid grows and hits milestones at different times and the books aren't always right. I need to let my kid be and he'll do it when he's ready. I wish I could just do that.
I also feel mom guilt about going back to work. I have to do it and I know it will all be fine, but I still feel guilty and sad. I'm also jealous of those moms who get the chance to stay home full time. I should be grateful that we can afford for me to go back to work part time. Some moms have no choice.
Basically, I guess, I'm just a big complainer today. I'll get over my mom guilt or find something else to feel guilty over, but I'm glad that I recognize it. I think I'd be in denial if I didn't.
For all those moms who have to work I feel your pain and your guilt. Please don't beat yourself up about it. We all can only do our best for our kids and we should be okay with that. No one is the perfect parent, so why should we expect ourselves to be?

Going back to work

2010-09-29T09:44:00.001-07:00

This is a really hard post for me to write. I'm going back to work next week. I've found a job that is 10 minutes from home in the same city we live in. I've been lucky to find a new family to work for and they will let me bring Ethan with me when I need to. My mother-in-law will be watching Ethan during the week so I can work. I'll probably bring him one or two days out of the four I'll work. I'm lucky that the longest day I'll work will be 7 hours and the shortest 6 hours. Since it's a short drive, compared to my 30 minutes commute in the past, I'll be home more with Ethan.
The hard part is leaving him when I don't bring him to work. I know it's good for me to have time away from Ethan and I really need to go back to work. I love that I'll have the opportunity to bring him with me everyday if need be. I won't mostly because I'm hoping to keep him somewhat away from kids in the winter so he doesn't get sick. I also want him to have interaction with other kids. Right now he's startled by other kids because he hardly ever is with other kids, or at least loud kids.
Last night after finding out that I had the job (I'm 99% sure that it's a for sure thing. She's still calling my references)I lost it. I had an anxiety attack. Even this morning I felt very anxious. I hate leaving him. It's especially difficult to think that I might miss something. Since I've been with him everyday all day for the last 7 1/2 months I feel guilty and like I'm going to be missing out. I completely trust my mother-in-law and I know he'll be well taken care. I guess I'm just grieving the freedom I had while at home. I made my own schedule, left the house if I wanted to and did things like I wanted. Now, I have to answer to someone else's parenting style and schedule.
I think it's also hard to go back to work after 8 1/2 months off. Most people don't get that much paid time off. I've been one of the lucky ones.
I didn't think I'd be going back to a nanny position, but I can't find work at an office and my paid family leave would have been over at the end of October. I'm committing to this family for a year and I hope it works out.
I'll be really missing my baby, especially in the first few weeks. I feel lucky though to have found a family that will let me bring him when I want to. Fortunately, they are a Christian family as well. I think it was meant to happen like this. I'm very thankful to be starting a new job and to have the opportunity to work. We worried that I wouldn't be able to find something in time. This has truly been an answer to pray.

Cold & Flu Season

2010-09-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

Not that anyone ever looks forward to Cold & Flu season, but we especially don't. We made it through the last one just barely with Ethan in the hospital twice, once with Brochialitis and once for a bad cold. We spent a total of 13 days in the hospital between March and May ending our stay on Mother's Day.
This year Ethan will have to get monthly Synagis shots between October and April to reduce his chances of getting RSV. I hate giving him shots so much mostly because I think it's so much for such a little body. In fact, that's why I space out his vaccination shots over a few weeks each time we go in. That's another story.
Anyways, the Synagis shots only reduces his chances by 55% so we still need to be careful. This summer we were less worried about germs because it seemed like more people were well. But, now that we're headed into the fall all the sickness is coming back.
We worry a lot about being back into the hospital and our biggest worry is the damage that can be done to Ethan's lungs if he gets a bacterial infection. Luckily, he has not had any bacterial infections. His lungs are perfect!
We went to have a weigh in on Friday and he weighed in at 18 lbs 11.5 oz. He's a big boy! He has more than doubled his birth weight which was 8 lbs 9 oz. We are still giving him enzymes to help him digest his food. He will always need the enzymes because he is pancreas insufficient meaning he can't digest his food on his own because his pancreas lacks digestive enzymes that should help him properly digest his food. Ethan's pulmonology team says that we're doing everything the right way and that we are a great example of how successful families can be if they stick to the program. We are very lucky that we found out about his Cystic Fibrosis so early so that we can help prevent damage on his lungs. Of course, we still worry about the future, but I think what gets us through the day is living day by day and moment by moment. I think this has forced me to live in the moment and enjoy Ethan for where he is and who he is.
We are doing very well. Ethan is healthy and a very happy baby. He smiles almost all the time and is very low key, just like his daddy. He loves to squeal and yell like a girl. It's funny sometimes and not so funny other times, like when we're in a restaurant.
Despite being worried about Cold and Flu season, all we can do is hope and pray that he will stay as healthy as he can, try to help prevent him from getting sick and continue doing his treatments.

Wright's Lake & Popeye

2010-09-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago we went with Ken's parents to Wright's Lake. This was the first camping trip we've taken with them in their 5th wheel for more than one night. It was a lot of fun. We played cards and walked to the lake to feed the ducks every day.

"I'm Popeye the Sailor Man..."

Recently, Ethan learned how to sit up on his own. He's getting pretty good at it. We still need to spot him somewhat, but he doesn't really need it anymore. He loves that he can reach things and see the world from a different angle.
Two days ago Ethan got his first tooth too! The second one is on it's way out too. He's been a real trooper through it all. He's not been himself lately, but it doesn't last for long. It's funny how every thing that he learns to do or every milestone he hits I keep wondering if he'll hit the next one. I couldn't imagine him rolling over 4 months ago and he did it. Ethan will be 7 months old on Saturday and I can't believe how fast it is all going. Before I know it he'll be turning 1...I have mixed feelings about that one.

Update on our Family

2010-08-30T09:57:00.001-07:00

We decided it might be a good idea to send all of you an update on our family. I realized that we were only updating when we needed prayer and not when we were doing well.

Ethan is now 6 months old and a very happy baby. His smile is infectious. As of 2 weeks ago he weighed 17 lbs 7 oz and was 26 inches long. His weight gain is great for a baby that doesn't have CF, but for a baby with it it's amazing! The pulmonologist has been very happy with his weight gain. He is not a failure to thrive kid like many of CF babies can be. It's all thanks to his awesome doctors, the therapies, and God's grace. The Creon, or enzymes, that we give him at every meal have helped his digestive system because he is pancreatic insufficient. He will always need Creon.

We were pleased to hear after getting blood work back that Ethan had fought off a cold on his own. The test came back showing that Ethan's white blood cell count was slightly elevated which meant he had fought something off in the last month. We couldn't believe we'd missed it. He just had a cough and we didn't think it was a cold.

Recently, I have struggled with the "burden" that the therapies can be. I will always do whatever Ethan needs to keep him healthy, but sometimes I feel very overwhelmed. He has chest therapy, his VEST, 2x a day for 15 minutes, as of four days ago it was 20 minutes 2x a day. Currently, thankfully, he's not on nebulizers which are even more time consuming. I probably sound like a big complainer, but I'm trying to be honest about how CF effects us on a daily basis. For the most part, I forget he even has CF most days. Even with the therapies and keeping track of what he eats and how much, I still forget.

Ethan is such a great baby. He puts himself to sleep, takes long naps, sits up (this is new!), loves to sleep on his side, smiles at almost everyone he meets, loves playing with his family and absolutely loves to make screeching noises. Ken likes to make screeching noises right back at him and make a contest of it. Our poor neighbors can probably hear it all. We love being his parents and are thankful for everyday that he is here. That being said, I want everyone to know that I realize that CF is unpredictable and he may be one of those people who eventually needs a lung transplant, but most likely he won't. With the preventative care and hope for a cure in the near future, we believe that he will grow up to go to college, get married and even have kids if he chooses to. We're excited, but also know that we don't know for sure what the future holds.

Thank you all for praying for our family when things are bad, but also thank you for continuing to pray when it's good too. We are doing very well.

Erin, Ken & Ethan

6 month photos

2010-08-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

For Ethan's 6 month photos we decided to take my friend, Pam's son with is for photos. Pam & I didn't want to be in the photos. Evidently, Sean, Pam's 1 year old, didn't want to be in the photos either.

At 6 months, Ethan can roll very well from tummy to back, switch toys from one hand to the other, move around his bed (always found in a new spot with toys in his hands or his blankie over his head), sleeps 730pm-630am with no feedings, and eats a jar of baby food and cereal at dinnertime. He is on his way to sitting up on his own. I think within the next couple weeks he will be doing it on his own. We don't know how much he weighs, but I will update this post with a weight on Thursday when we go in for his shots and checkup. He should be about 17 1/2 lbs.

Birthday Parties

2010-08-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

August has been full of birthday parties and family get-togethers. We celebrated my sister, Kristin's birthday a couple weekends ago and celebrated a friend's little boy's 1st birthday last weekend. It was really fun to be invited to a kid's birthday party and actually have a kid to bring. Ethan had a great time.
I'll post the pictures from our birthday party celebration with my family. As usual, there are tons of pictures to choose from, so it's hard not to use a lot of Ella & Ethan. They are too cute not to photograph every second, but I know I'm biased.
We still have a few more parties this month to go to!

Ella & Ethan

Ethan's First Video Game

2010-08-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Weight Update

2010-08-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

We went to clinic yesterday and found out that Ethan weighs 17 lbs 4 oz and is 25 inches long. He is in the 58th percentile for weight and the 91 percentile for weight to height. A couple months ago the dietician had us start concentrating Ethan's formula. We started using less water and more formula in hopes that he would gain weight and be able to sustain his current weight. Here we are two months later and he's huge! In fact, he is so big that they may have to stop concentrating his formula to be sure that he doesn't gain too much, too fast.
We also found out that his lungs are clear, which we figured since he hasn't been sick lately. We are so thankful that he is continuing to stay healthy. Hopefully this winter will be smooth sailing and he will stay out of the hospital.

Licking His Food

2010-07-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

I wish that I had a picture of this, but Ethan doesn't really like to open his mouth to eat his food. He just likes to lick it. The pediatrician says that it doesn't mean he's not ready for solids. I guess he's just checking out the food. We'll keep trying and hopefully by mid August we'll have the food thing down.
He's tried carrots, peas, sweet potatoes, avocados, pears, apples & bananas. He's also tried barley cereal, rice cereal, oatmeal and multi-grain cereal. He hates the rice cereal and really who can blame the poor kid? It tastes like cardboard. I tried it. Bleh!
It's funny lately to hear Ken as he feeds Ethan his dinner. "Ethan, no!" as he bats away the food and it flies onto the highchair or floor. We've recently tried giving him a spoon so he will be distracted and open his mouth for food. I think he wants the food, he just doesn't get that he has to open his mouth to get it. He watches us eat and seems very interested and once the food is in his mouth he can push it all the way back without gagging. It's a mystery! We'll see how long this licking goes on.
The pulmonologist told us at his last visit that Ethan is not a failure to thrive kid. He was 15 1/2 lbs and 25 inches long at our visit 3 weeks ago and I'm sure he's 16 lbs by now. Kids with CF have digestive problems and because of the enzymes we give him before every meal he is gaining weight beautifully. I hope he can keep this up once he gets the hang of solid foods.

Sleep Training Update

2010-07-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

A month ago I posted about how we were trying to train Ethan to go to sleep on his own. He did fairly well for about a week and then we went to Tahoe for a week and had to rock him to sleep every time he needed to sleep. Needless to say it was a very very long week of rocking. Mostly because Ken and I were the ones doing the rocking, not a chair.
As soon as we got back from Tahoe we were determined to get the sleep training underway. It took 2 days and gradually he would cry less. He never screamed, but he was not happy with us on the first day. I'm happy to report that now he is putting himself to sleep all the time. We put him in his crib after a book, song and giving him his blankie and he goes to sleep within 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he talks or makes screeching noises, but he always goes to sleep. Some people are telling me we'll see how long it lasts, but I think that for the most part we are on the right track. I'm happy that he's going to bed on his own and I think he's pretty happy too.
Since he's putting himself to sleep he now takes longer naps. He's starting to take two 2 to 2 1/2 hour naps a day, but sometimes needs a 30 minute catnap to tide him over to his 8pm bedtime.
Today, for the first since 2 mos old, he slept in until 705am. I wish I would have been able to sleep as long, but after 630am I was awake. I'm hoping this becomes a trend. Now all we need to do is get him to stop waking at night to eat. That's for August when he's 6 mos old! Gosh, 6 mos is coming so soon! I'll have another update on weight next week after we see the Pulmonologist for clinic.

Ethan's 1st Boat Ride

2010-07-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

Lake Tahoe & Ethan's first swim!

2010-07-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

This past week we spent in Lake Tahoe on vacation with my parents and my sister's family. It was a lot of fun. This was an interesting vacation for us because we had so much to bring up with the baby. 2/3 of our stuff was for him. We ended up borrowing Ken's parents van so that we could fit, the vest, a huge suitcase for Ethan including diapers & wipes, all his bottles, a bouncer, a bumbo, and a playmat. I'm sure I'm missing something. Oh, and Ken's bike. Thankfully we had the van to borrow or we never would have gotten everything in our car.
While we were in Tahoe my parents surprised us with a boat ride on a party boat at Fallen Leaf Lake. I was very worried about Ethan, even though he was strapped into a huge life preserver. He was uncomfortable and I still worried about him falling over the edge of the boat. We made it through all in one piece. It was a fun day on Fallen Leaf Lake. Hopefully, I'll enjoy it more next time. We have a video of Ethan's first boat ride, but Ken's still working on it.
Here's the video of Ethan's first swim.

Just a few photos from July!

2010-07-15T11:23:00.001-07:00

Eating rice cereal & apples - YUM!

Smiling in his bumbo seat with his book.
A new perspective of his world.

Nana & Ethan

1st time in the MacClaren! Big boy!

The shirt says it all.

Hanging out under his playmat

Smiling in his jumperoo

So tired after all the picture taking.

Family Time

2010-07-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

A week ago Ken and I decided to finally make stepping stones for our backyard! I'll post pictures at the end of one of the two stones we made. One has our address on it so for safety I'm not posting it. We decided to do one stones for every year that we live in this house and then take them with us when we move.

For 2009 we made a house with mosaic stones and wrote the words "NEW FRIENDS", our address, "SOLD" and the year 2009. I also drew stick figures of Ken and me in front of the house. The one of me has a little baby bump since I was 12 weeks pregnant when we moved in.

For 2010, we made the stone all about Ethan. We put his birthday 2-18-2010, "LAUGHTER", & "SILLY" along with stars and moons, and we used polished stones of some sort to write his name. When we were finished with that we pushed his little feet into the cement so that we'll always rememberhow small his little feet were. We've placed them in the bark outside our patio. Next year we'll see what the 2011 has in store for us and then decide what we'll do for that one.

Ethan had a fun day with his cousin, Ella a couple weekends ago. She came over to play and by play I mean to play with all his toys. She does love her baby "Etan" a lot and wants to helps with everything. She also loves to eat at my house. She knows where her seat is and where all the snacks and juice are kept. It's so fun to have her around. It shows me what it would be like to have two kids two years apart. I'm hoping it's more like 2 1/2 to 3 years for us.

Here are the pictures from her visit:

Ethan doesn't know what to think. Earlier that day she went to get him up from his nap with me and he looked at me smiling and as soon as he heard her voice he was startled. He's just not used to the noise so quickly after waking up. I have a feeling they will love each other in about a year when they can play together. I look forward to seein Ella & Ethan running after each other at the park and swinging together or playing house in the kid kitchen upstairs at my parents house.

Auntie, Ella & Ethan wondering what Ella is doing.
She's playing peek-a-boo, I think.

Sweet Cousins.

Ella helping Nana feed Ethan.

4th of July

2010-07-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ken's dad, Gary & his brother, Tim.

Elaine & Tim

Ken's niner apron put to work.

Daddy & Ethan

Nana & Ethan

Mommy & Ethan

This year our street hosted a block party for the 4th of July. It was a lot of fun to get to know our neighbors more and to hang around our own neighborhood this year. Ethan slept through all the fireworks, except the whistlers. During those he'd open his eyes, stare, and then go right back to sleep when they were finished. Can't wait for next year.

Ethan at the end of the day.

Sleep Training

2010-07-06T08:34:00.001-07:00

We've reached the point where we no longer can rock Ethan to sleep for his naps and for bedtime. A few days ago Ethan started not going to sleep when we rocked him or when he did sleep he wouldn't sleep long. We decided yesterday that we were going to sleep train him. I've read a ton of books and used a lot of techniques on other kids while nannying, but I've never been the one to figure out what we wanted to do that was right for us. A neighbor on Fourth of July told me that I should stop reading and just follow my instincts.
My instinct was that I should create a routine, such as diaper change, book, song, lay in bed and say, "Night, Night" then leave the room. After leaving him in his room we will come back every 5 minutes if he gets really fussy. Usually by 10 minutes he's asleep and sometimes talking to himself. He doesn't need us very much anymore which is bittersweet.
I am happy that my baby is finally going to sleep on his own. Since he put himself to sleep for the night on the 4th, he's done it all yesterday and for the naps today. He sleeps longer and slept longer with only 2 feedings last night. One very early this morning at 2am and the other at 445am. He's taking less food too and sleeping longer during the night. We aer getting close to not having to feed him at night. Just another month or so and my doctor says he can make it 12 hours without food.
Like I said before it's bittersweet. I love being needed, but he can't need me all the time. Especially when we all need sleep around here.

Blankie & Thumb sucking

2010-06-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

I know there are a lot of people out there who would prefer that their kid not suck their thumb, but I'm not one of them. Sure, he will probably have a harder time giving it up when he gets older than he would with his binkie. I know we can't take it away like the binkie, but it's so convenient. The only thing that worries me is the germ aspect especially since we need to keep him healthy as much as possible. He tends to suck his thumb during the day when he's awake.
He loves his blankie. It's about 18 inches by 18 inches so it's the perfect size to cuddle with. When I put it between me and him to rock him before putting him in his bed he nuzzles up with it and gets the satin inbetween his fingers. He takes a binkie to go to sleep, but the blankie is a must have.
I love that he loves his thumb and his blankie because I used to suck my left thumb and had a blankie. Can't wait to get a picture of him using both.

Parenthood

2010-06-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

When I dreamed about becoming a mom, I didn't think it would be like it is in reality. I'm not saying that I don't like how it is. It's just much different than I envisioned. I thought that as a mom and an experienced nanny, that I would have it all together. Sure, I'd have a few battles with sleep training, sleeping through the night, getting the baby on a schedule, but no biggie.
Then I became a mom, and all of that went out of the window. Now I know that being a mom requires constant switching it up. When you think you've mastered something it crumbles or you have to start all over. Being a mom with all of these difficult aspects to overcome is completely worth it, but my bubble has been popped. I'm 4 months in and sometimes I feel like this "job" will never end...and it won't. I love my job as a mom, but it's the stuff in between that sometimes makes me wonder what I was thinking before when everything looked so easy.
I have a great little boy, who is so easy going, follows a routine/schedule and eats like a horse. I still worry constantly about whether he's getting enough to eat or whether he's sleeping too much or too little. Just when I get him to sleep I start to worry that he's not breathing. I worry that I will fall down the stairs while carrying him or that someone won't take care of him as well as I would. I know from talking to other moms that all these things are just how moms think. You never stop worrying about your kids and I'm no different. This is just the beginning of the joys of parenthood and I'm up for the rollercoaster ride, even if it means constantly worrying. He's a great kid and I wouldn't trade him for anything. (Not even a years worth of full nights of sleep ;)

Visiting GAG (Great Aunt Glo)

2010-06-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

GAG & Ethan

Stark Cousins minus Ben :(

A couple weekends ago, my mom, sister, niece Ella, Ethan & I drove to Clearlake to visit with my Aunt Glo, otherwise known as GAG. It was a very short day, but it was great to finally make it back to Clearlake, see my aunt & uncle and to spend the day with most of my cousins. We were missing Ben, but the other 6 of us were there. Here are the pictures from our trip:
A picture of Ella & Ethan on our car trip.

GAG, Ella & Ethan

Nana & Ethan

Tucker & Ella

Auntie & Ethan

Teething

2010-06-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

Oh how I loathe teething. I assumed that Ethan would get teeth earlier than most kids since he started drooling a lot around 2 months old. About a month ago he started knawing on his hands and a week ago he started looking like he was in pain. We have turned to Hylands homeopathic teething tablets & Tylenol. We always use both since the teething tablets give us just enough time to soothe him until the Tylenol kicks in. It seems to be working for the most part.
On Saturday we celebrated Father's Day, Ken's birthday and my brother-in-law's birthday at my parents house a few blocks away. Ethan was okay for the first couple hours. He just wasn't eating as well as usual. By 2pm he was inconsolible and by 3pm he was screaming so much I was almost in tears. Luckily, even on his special day Ken took over so I didn't lose it. He finally fell asleep with Tylenol in his system and although it was a short nap was able to eat much better for the rest of the day. Like I said before "I loathe teething". I know it's going to get worse and come and go. It looks and feels like he's getting his upper left tooth, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there is more than one tooth coming. Oh vay!

Rockin' Out

2010-06-16T14:38:00.001-07:00

Here's a copy of Ethan's rockin' out video:

Visiting the Weaver's

2010-06-16T14:30:00.001-07:00

Last week Ethan and I went to visit the family I used to work for, the Weaver's. We had a ton of fun. The kids loved talking about Ethan's mohawk hairstyle and their youngest son is 13 days younger than Ethan so we took comparison pictures. We concluded that their youngest,Brandon weighs more an Ethan has a bigger head. 90% last time we checked. Here are the photos that their new nanny took while we hung out by the pool. Here's a video that the Weaver's new nanny, Theresa took of Ethan talking. I will have an update on our 4 month old on Friday after his doctors appointment.

A Blast From the Past

2010-06-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Rachel Reed Keys, Brittany Harmon, me, & Elizabeth Reinking Tosspon
- My 16th birthday party.

I recently bought a negative reader so that I could take all of my old 35mm film and convert it to digital. It's actually a really easy machine to use and I've already converted over 500 pictures by doing it for the equivalent of 2 hrs a day over 3 or 4days whenever Ethan goes down for a nap. I still have a ton of pictures left to do.
I've found some old photos from high school and college. It's so interesting to look at the clothes I wore, how I styled my hair (or actually did something to it!), and remember all those old memories of youth group, jazz choir and boys...lots of memories of boys! I was a "little" boy crazy and DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA. That's another story for a later time.
Here's what I found:

Lauren Bryant Jenkins with her hotel hair thingie @ State Youth Conference '98

Sarah Thompson & Pamela Jones Perry @ my 16th BD Party

The guys: Alex Callan, Matt Modica, David Bohl, & Graham Munday

Lauren Bryant Jenkins' obsession with the pencil sharpener @ Mission Trip somewhere.

Alison Oldham Johnson & Me @ State Youth Conference '98

Emily Callan Maurer & Alex Callan receive their secret pal gifts. Wow!

Shelly Rogers Epler playing her trumpet @ Mission Trip to Spokane, WA in '98

Me Singing in Spokane, Wa

Best Friends in the Making

2010-06-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

Ethan & one of my good friends little boy, Sean had their first playdate on Friday. They didn't interact really, but Pam & I had a nice time catching up. I think that's mostly what playdates are for. Here are the pictures from their playdate. Pam & I hope they enjoy playing Little League, soccer and many other sports together in the near future. Oh, Sean's 9 months old.

Camping with Grammy & Grandpa

2010-06-07T10:00:00.001-07:00

This past weekend Ken & I took Ethan to go camping, well 5th wheeling, with Ken's parents. We weren't even there 24 hrs because of a jam packed weekend, but it was so much fun. The weather was gorgeous. It was in the upper 60's or lower 70's. Ken's parents have a 5th wheel that is 2 rooms. One room has a bed, the shower, sink and toilet and the other is the family room with the kitchen. Ken's parents let us take the bedroom with the baby so it would be easier for him to nap and sleep at night. We hoped that Ethan wouldn't wake them during the night. Later Gary, Ken's dad, said that he only heard us once.
Ethan slept really well, from 645pm-2am, woke up and ate 5oz and went back to sleep. At 330 I thought he was waking up so I got up, which means trying to find the floor in the 2 inch space between the wall & bed, turn on the light in the bathroom and check to see if he was really up. He wasn't, but he just kept making more noises. Finally we tried to feed him a little more from his earlier feeding and put him back to bed. At 4am he was wide awake and full of smiles, coos, and gurgling. We decided to put him in bed with us in hopes he would fall asleep, but he kept talking. I put his binkie in his mouth and he kept talking. At one point, Ken said, "Put his binkie in his mouth" while we lay in the dark and I replied, "I did". Ethan just kept talking until I pushed him closer to me and he finally zonked out for another 90 minutes. Needless to say, Ken and I don't like sleeping in the same room with Ethan at all. Ethan slept well, but mommy and daddy did not.
We didn't do much on our trip, but we did play cards, go for a couple walks and it was a great mini-vacation from the real world.
In July, Tahoe here we come with my family for a whole week in a hotel!!!

Weight Check

2010-06-04T06:45:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday, we went to see the pulmonologist for clinic. Dr. Leong said that Ethan sounds really and for the time being we can stop nebulizer treatments. We are still doing the vest and just started doing it for 20 minutes twice a day.
They weighed him and he was 13 lbs 4.5 oz & 23.5 inches long. He's in the 60% for proportionate weight to height and in the 30% for weight & 30% for height. Dr. Leong and the dietician were pleased with his growth. We will be starting rice cereal and a few others in less than 2 weeks. I'm really excited to put him in his highchair which will probably be way to big.
Here are some pictures of him in his jumperoo. He can't jump because he is still too short so I have to do it for him. He seems to like being in an upright position to see the world from a different angle.

Rolling Over & Sleeping through the night

2010-06-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Last week Ethan rolled over for the first time. I didn't believe it when he actually rolled over so I made him do it over and over again. The next day Ken made a video of it. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGDm8FD_-so&feature=autofb

I know I always say this but it's amazing to watch him grow right before my eyes. He's able to sit supported on the couch or in my lap. He needs to gain a pound or two before he'll be able weigh down his jumperoo enough to bounce. For now, I'm doing the bouncing for him.

Last week I set up his jumperoo and highchair. We will most likely be starting rice cereal when he turns 4 months on the 18th. Can't believe that! I had intended to wait until he was 5 or even 6 months to start solids, but the dietician thinks that in order to continue in the right direction with Ethan's weight we should probably start early. About 2 weeks ago we were told by the dietician to start concentrating the formula. We use less water and more powder. For a 6oz bottle we mix 5.5oz water and 3.25 scoops of formula. This makes it so it's 24 calories per ounce instead of the normal 20. It's amazing how an ounce of formula is the same amount of calories that is usually in a piece of gum. Crazy that babies can survive on that. Ethan is at about 32oz a day now of concentrated formula so he's at 768 calories a day, compared to what would have been 640. Cystic Fibrosis kids needs between 1% and 1.5% more calories than a normal kid because they burn so many calories breathing.

Ethan was weighed on May 5th when we were admitted to the hospital for the 2nd time. He was 11 1/2 lbs then. We went back 3 weeks later and he was 12lbs 15oz. Tomorrow we go in to see the pulmonologist and the rest of the team (social worker, dietician, nurse, respiratory therapist) for clinic. Even though it's only been a week since he was weighed I have a feeling he will be almost 14 lbs. We'll see.

We've been working with Ethan on sleeping through the night or at least only getting up once to eat. For the last few weeks he has been getting up closer to 3/330am for his first feeding, but not every night. Before that he was getting up twice to eat @ 1/130am and 430/5am. We are happy to say that it looks like by giving him an earlier bed time (645pm) he now sleeps from 645pm to 345am before his first feeding and then goes back to sleep until 545/6am. It's been nice to get more sleep and I'm actually surprised that he sleeps longer because he goes to bed earlier. The earlier bedtime is nice for us so Ken & I can spend some time together and Ethan loves to go to bed early.

That's what's happening in our world!

Reading with Grammy - very interested!

Ethan's favorite onesie from his Auntie! Well, one of many cute ones!

We need to remember to take this onesie out for BBQ nights and get him some little BBQ tools :)

My handsome boy!

A Daddy vs. Ethan stare down. Guess who won?

Ethan doing is treatments very contently.

Uncle Tim & Ethan

One of Ethan's crazy faces!

3 Month Portraits

2010-05-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

His Easter Outfit (or what would have been his Easter outfit if it had fit)

Ethan turned 3 months old on the 18th! It seems like everyday he is doing something new. I've been trying to put him on his tummy more often. It's hard to remember to do it since when he is up he's usually eating or having a vest or nebulizer treatment. I try to give him time to play, but sometimes it's not very much time. When I did put him on his tummy a couple days ago he was really close to rolling over. I think he'll be doing it by the end of next week.
Ken & I took Ethan to JcPenney's Portraits to have his 3 month photos taken. He missed his morning nap, so I was worried they wouldn't turn out very good. We didn't get a really good smile, but the grin made up for it.
Who do you think he looks like in this one?

A Family Photo

Ethan's talk with Great-Granner

2010-05-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Ethan got to spend more time with Ken's Granner, his great-granner. He was very into her. I have never heard him talk so much to anyone. He smiled and cooed at her. Ethan hasn't seen her since his 2nd cousin, Gavin's 1st birthday in March and before that it was the day after he was born. He is getting to be so much more fun and smiles more each day. I think he's a very happy baby. In fact, he's wearing his "Happy" shirt today.
Here are some of the pictures of him with his great-granner.

Mom Guilt

2010-05-16T13:08:00.001-07:00

"Why I outta!"

All smiles

Ethan looks so much like me in this picture.

I've realized in the last weeks how guilty I feel when I leave Ethan. I guess it's a case of mom guilt. I find myself hurrying back sooner than I meant to, mostly because I really miss him, but I think it's also because of the guilt. I can't seem to stop it.
On the weekends Ken tries to let me sleep in, but by 8am I'm downstairs because I feel like I'm taking advantage by leaving Ken with the baby. Ken usually says, "Go to bed. I've got it!" I need to get over it and just sleep in. I totally trust Ken with the baby so that's not the problem.
My main problem with mom guilt is that I can't sit down and do something for myself without feeling guilty. If I go upstairs to read or take a bath, I keep thinking about how I need to get back to Ethan. I have talked to other moms who feel the same. I remember telling my sister last year that she needed to spend more time doing things for herself because taking care of herself would help her to be a better mom. I need to take my own advice. I never knew that being a mom came with the desire to constantly be everything for your kids.
I'm learning to let myself do special things for me. I know that it's just as important to take care of myself so I'm a better mom, as it is to take care of my marriage so we're better parents. I just need to actually do it.

Before I was a Mom...

2010-05-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

An old friend of mine sent me this today:

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

1st Mother's Day

2010-05-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

I woke up on Mother's Day all alone. Ethan was still in the hospital and Ken had spent the night with him. We weren't sure if he would be released on Mother's Day or the day after. Once I got up I went to Starbucks to treat myself and get something for Ken. The weather was dreary. That was exactly how I felt too. I'd been looking forward to my 1st Mother's Day since last Mother's Day.
We ended up finding out around noon that Ethan would be going home and after 3 hrs were released to go home. After Ethan threw up on the way home and a bath at home we headed to my parents house to celebrate. We also had to finish my Mother's Day gift from my sister and me.
My mom loved her apron and cried when she opened it along with a photo of 3 out of 4 of her grandkids. This was the first year that I truly understood why we celebrate Mother's Day. As a mother, I now understand how my mom felt while we were growing up and what she did for us. It's overwhelming to be mom, but very worth it. I have such an appreciation for my mom. She is so strong and taught me how to be a good mom. I love you, Mommy!
Ken and Ethan gave me a kit to make a stepping stone with Ethan's footprints on it. The funny thing is I was planning on getting Ken the same thing for Father's Day. I guess I'll have to rethink that.
I hope all of you who are mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day. I can't wait for next year when I will wake up with my little boy jumping on my bed on Mother's Day.

"Mommy, I love my hands!"

2010-05-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

My precious boy taking a nap

Notice that Ethan is Superman!!!

He wouldn't let go of the rings.

Ethan is growing so fast! The last time he was weighed he was almost 12 lbs and 23 inches long. He loves to bat at toys and likes to hold his keys. He's starting to master holding his head up for longer periods of time. I think that rolling over will happen in the next few weeks. I feel bad because he's hardly ever on the floor since he's always having some kind of treatments for CF. He loves to kick his legs and chew on his hands. He's getting pretty close to getting his whole hand in his mouth.
I love to watch him talk to the fan and to us. He's such a talker! Just like his mommy! Ken said that he had hoped that Ethan wouldn't be much of a talk until he was older, ha...fat chance of that. He's got Schwiesow genes! It was inevitable.
He's a very social baby. He likes almost everyone, except if he's feeling sick or is really tired. Once he's swaddled and has his binkie he will fall asleep in seconds. I can't believe I have such an easy kid. I know some of it must be dumb luck, but I like to believe that God gave us an easy going baby because of all of the other hurdles we were going to have to jump over. He's such an amazing baby!
I have a calendar in the kitchen to keep track of his milestones and I'm glad it's there because I would completely forget the dates that he has done all the things.
Just in the few weeks he has slept 6-7 hrs during the night 4 out of 7 days of one week before he got sick, started holding his head steady, starting grabbing at toys and gripping them trying to get them into his mouth, talks a lot and mimics whatever Ken or I say. He copies, "Goo", "Uh,oh", "Oh", & "Mommmm". When he was in the hospital last week I could have sworn that he said, "Elllla" when he cried. I know he doesn't associate those words with anything, but it's cute to see him mimic us and see how fascinated he is to listen to whatever we say. His grin makes my day and I just can't help but smile myself.

Great Strides Walk for the Cure

2010-05-11T12:21:00.001-07:00

Ethan was exhausted after all that walking :)

I've been meaning to post about the Great Strides walk, but with all that's been going on you can see why it's taken me almost 2 weeks. On May 1st, our team of 12 people met at the Capitol steps in Sacramento along with about 500 other people to walk for the cure for Cystic Fibrosis. Our team raised $3210 between the 12 of us. We brought Ethan along in the front pack to keep him up and away from the germs of kids, but of course, he already had a cold. I thought he was getting better actually.
The walk was about 3 miles long through Old Sac, K Street Mall and around the Capitol. We had a BBQ at our house after the walk to say thank you to everyone.
We made t-shirts with Ethan's photo on the front and TEAM ETHAN on the back. Unfortunately, as soon as many of us put them on the transfer with the picture on it cracked. Ethan even had a onesie with his little face on it. I didn't get a picture of him in his onesie, but we did get some pictures of the day.